Cotopaxi, Ecuador (summer 2012)

Saturday, December 30, 2017

in Naples all the women are beautiful

when Olga was being difficult,
Picasso knew that
in Naples
all the women are beautiful
and everything is easy.
in Paris, his rose period finally came
when it climbed a steep hill,
and puffed past a rundown windmill.
his sketchbook and cheap rent
both looked down to the famous nomadic river,
saw a passing barge,
and heard the future tie up softly at a landing.
then Matisse finally sold something
to a dealer,
who sold it to a German collector
standing on a street corner
near the Agile Rabbit,
but his wife wasn't so sure.
jugglers, acrobats, brothels, and boozers
stayed awake until four
painting posters, posing,
erasing lines drawn in the sand,
looking for their gypsy connections,
warming themselves within their fiery imaginations.
the genteel Russian girls
danced in the opera,
painted faces smelling of vodka and caviar.
the post-Impressionists
went searching for Cezanne,
peeking under the vermillion trees
where nude women bathed,
their wet hair falling in loose strands of scarlet yellow.
cheap wine and riotous song splashed below the breaking clouds,
and a strong urge for a new day,
a romance day,
which could come at any hour,
left the city breathless.

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

into the night sky

with lobster eyes,
i see that you exist
as no other.
but i am not your brother,
nor a lover forever.
on the ensuing weekend
when i was in London,
i had you by and by;
as far as i'm concerned
i should not lie
on a Saturday.
Sunday might be different,
passing by,
but i should not lie.
i split myself
between two women or more,
and at my most essential,
at my core,
i feel you stir
like a cat might purr
for food on a hungry night.
i spent many hours
picking flowers
especially for you.
there came a soft knock on my door
which i needed to ignore
because it was a ghost
with a voice i knew;
but unlike
a curious bird,
it flew
into the night sky,
beyond the night sky
where i
could no longer reach it
when i tried to reach it,
and there was no cage.

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

poetry at the mermaid

poetry at the mermaid
on a water slide to hell;
a little whisper from a big mouth
with words i can’t retell;
the cold sticks to my teeth
and i bite each syllable 
in a frenzy of disbelief, 
i was not feeling well.
the greasy cup of coffee
and the ash cloud of a sun
invade my breakfast table
as i’ve become undone,
sipping strong-willed fantasy
for a brief moment of relief:
there are buckets of pure emptiness
where i’ve hidden in my grief.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Herb Gold

Herb was golden
in his San Francisco chair
certainly grateful
for the few strands of grey hair
he found in his bathroom sink;
well, at least he could think
his way out of a wet paper bag,
and he didn't need a chest tag
to remember his own name
as he walked past the hippie lady with her two small poodles
to a late night diner that served tasty Chinese noodles;
he was excited to read Home Boy
written by an old Park Avenue friend
who used drugs like a friendly toy
until his untimely end
when, very drunk, he crashed his motorcycle!
Herb, on the other hand, rode his Huffy bicycle
which was much safer
sure and slow;
he often knew which way to go
divorced
and solo
into the streets of San Francisco
cruising the world.

Monday, December 11, 2017

what is important

the head of a woman
her strong arms
long and slender
silent summertime charms
and twelve years later
i'm checking for changes
check, please, waiter!
her forehead and hair
falling loosely from an easy chair
gouging my cheeks
delineating lines
old cobblestone signs
and i'm on the road to creation
looking for Mr. Jack
but he's not coming back
with Alan or Paul
and i read them all
earlier in the day
before she modeled for me in an adjacent hay field
monumentality
i was forced to yield
johnny on the spot
like a figure of a man
a passing tiny dot
with flattish breasts in the background
and my treasured book
she took another look
in her androgynous pose
and nobody knows
better than i
how her breath becomes tender
when it wraps itself around my mouth
remembering what is important to remember.

Friday, December 8, 2017

when it rained

i wanted to know
when it rained
why on earth
that man thought it was snow.
his pregnant belly
like a plastic bag
of hot pants
and peanut butter jelly;
his silly laugh
flat as a FOX tongue
late at midnight
in a lukewarm bath;
by the public door
of a big white house,
his orange hair
on a bedroom floor
wild as a deer heart
but dead on arrival,
sputtering,
and never to start:
i wanted to know
when it rained
why on earth
that man thought it was snow.
in his masculine pose
one big hand small
advertising
like New York broadway shows
i wanted to know
when it rained
why on earth
that man thought it was snow.

Thursday, December 7, 2017

the neighbor's cats' cries

the headlights flooded my studio
with a light so bright
i had to protect my eyes!
i heard the neighbor's cats' cries
and watched her arch her back
with a feline intent
she wandered into my gatehouse
curious and slightly bent
looking for a tray of tea
but all she saw was me
without knowing what i was for
what should she do?
i had painted my face green and blue.
looking out my window in the spring
i was astonished to learn the cat could sing.
sitting on the alley wall
there would be a terrible price to pay
if she should fall,
so i kept her in sight
throughout the night;
and in the background were bare trees,
stark and lonesome in the quiet breeze
as she crouched like a sphinx
her nose visibly pink
her giraffe-like head
like a sculpture resembling a primitive bed
slightly larger than a breast in heat
she sat confidently on her own four feet
for the better part of the coming week
modeling for the purpose of an extra treat
which i secretly provided
when our glances at each other collided
and it seems so bizarre
but that's what we are
and back to back, we looked at each other
sister and brother
dualities like the sun and moon
late and soon
sea and sky
her and i
night and day
closer and closer and further away
until our hungry lips got in the way.

Sunday, December 3, 2017

the winter hare

concentration camps
think seriously;
they hang kerosene lamps,
light multiple gas ovens
in a barbed wire haze,
and bones sleep on hard wood,
hear gun shots and shouts,
and a winter hare runs from a chasing white dog
through the tall drought-resistant grasses
scampering into a hillside burrow
into darkness
hiding
because it needs to hide
and the trailing dog's nose becomes filled with dirt
while digging
persistently
when it discovers frightened people
like a giant throbbing lump of clay
hiding in the deep burrow
and suddenly
the nearing nuclear war
doesn't provide any relief
between the two.
close by,
under cover,
the commander in chief
wore his peaked cap
to protect his eyes
from the flash and nobody realized
his shadow was the only source of light.
on his last day in office
he looked unusually tentative,
devoid of charisma,
and filled with a Big Mac melancholy
which he shared with the white dog
who had come into his office
to escape the out-of-doors.
the people remained frightened,
staying in the background,
along with the vanishing winter hare.

Thursday, November 30, 2017

the sea is a wall

self-referential
i'm a sunny Presidential
and the sea is a wall of busted blue
at the dawn of creation a single flying fish flew
and this should come as no surprise
i now have two naked eyes
and inflated body parts
a seesawing figure with two unconventional hearts
two balls and a Paul Bunyan hat
looking for a woman with a chest that's looking flat
a blind man found my steaming bath and sat
he waved from his pile of bubbles as he sank
up to his head he swallowed while we drank
to a woman whose pet name was Myrtle
her hips and breasts to my mind were fertile
and our harvests promised to be bountiful
we sang and ate our bellies' full
establishing a personal rapport
painting still lives on the living room floor
to satisfy our hunger for a sensual war
and in a tangle of tendrils
yet-to-be executed thrills:
all the bad girls wearing bleached blond curls
piling their bowls with fresh fruit
wearing sweaters tight and oh-so-cute
a pitcher of beer and a happy face
in a New Year's letter a piece of lively lace
and a curving candle stick
i took another look and took a lick
self-referential
i'm a sunny Presidential
and the sea is a wall of busted blue
at the dawn of creation a single flying fish flew.

Friday, November 24, 2017

if someone came for you today

i've fought with the army,
and fought with the devil in hell,
had people ask for an answer
but i've promised never to tell
when the clock strikes midnight
and shadows appear on my bedroom wall
the nightmares call for me to remember
but i don't want to recall!
i've seen hearts that are broken and blood run in the street,
tears on every single face i meet,
the sounds of war playing exclusively for the young;
battle cries written and perfectly sung
and when i raise my head above the shouts and screams
it always seems
that all i see are old mens' dreams:
sad faces stitched with military laces,
frightened souls hiding in desperate holes
and the war which never wants an end
will it come for you, my friend?
will it come for you?
well, some books ask you to turn all their pages
before you can escape from all the cages
what will you ultimately say?
what will you say
if someone came for you today?
i've fought with the army,
and fought with the devil in hell,
had people ask for an answer
but i've promised never to tell
when the clock strikes midnight
and shadows appear on my bedroom wall
the nightmares call for me to remember
but i don't want to recall!
i've seen hearts that are broken and blood run in the street,
tears on every single face i meet,
the sounds of war playing exclusively for the young;
battle cries written and perfectly sung
and when i raise my head above the shouts and screams
it always seems
that all i see are old mens' dreams:
sad faces stitched with military laces,
frightened souls hiding in desperate holes
and the war which never wants an end
will it come for you, my friend?
will it come for you?
well, some books ask you to turn all their pages
before you can escape from all the cages
what will you ultimately say?
what will you say
if someone came for you today?

swirling clouds of blue and grey

i pretended to take a walk
down an alley where i heard you talk
and you called out my name
but you need to know, this isn't our only game
chatting to friends on the back street
hanging them with a rope by their black feet
exactly like we did before the Civil War
a monument to a lonely time that once before
painted us in swirling clouds of blue and grey
and we got down on our knees to pray:
someone had a dream and knew just what to say
the police are already here
arresting suspects suffocating in fear
for the benefit of Mr. Kite
it should be okay but it still doesn't feel right
i heard them say move along
so i began to sing my favorite country song
about a wild neighbor's dog
who ran into a fight and got lost inside a fog
covered with a secret tattoo
no one believed it was true
but stranger things have come to pass
i picked up a piece of broken glass
and got down on my knees to pray:
someone had a dream and knew just what to say
he may not get there after all
but you don't have to fall
i pretended to take a walk
down an alley where i heard you talk
and you called out my name
but you need to know, this isn't our only game
chatting to friends on the back street
hanging them with a rope by their black feet
exactly like we did before the Civil War
a monument to a lonely time that once before
painted us in swirling clouds of blue and grey
and we got down on our knees to pray:
someone had a dream and knew just what to say.

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

hell to pay

once there was a time
i went for a long walk with a beautiful friend of mine
and it was dark
there was a serious small time dealer in the local town park
they said his bite was worse than his bark
and he was furious
well, a month later we all became curious
and it was after our first big bite
yeah, we started to feel alright
didn't want to get out of bed
i had a moment when i forgot everything i just said
and there was a terrible noise
all the girls and boys tossing their church house toys
and it was party on
as the man said, from dusk to dawn
and to settle the point we stayed inside the joint
singing songs watching the news
feeling painful while playing indiscriminate blues
falling on faces and falling on knees
thanks largely to trying too hard to please
lamented poets' ashes being very discreet
i had a moment when i forgot how to cross my neighborhood street
and would you admit you didn't crave a beautiful hit?
hell to pay trying to get over it
i had to buy the heaviest hammer to get over my handsome stammer
where people seldom go
it's not what i believe its what i know
and would you admit you didn't crave a beautiful hit?
hell to pay trying to get over it
so once there was a time
i went for a long walk with a beautiful friend of mine
and it was dark
there was a serious small time dealer in the local town park
they said his bite was worse than his bark
and he was furious
well, a month later we all became curious
and it was after our first big bite
yeah, we started to feel alright.

Sunday, November 19, 2017

in how many languages?

in a small yellow room
with a small glass dish and a water bowl
sweet flowers of autumn red and summer blue
and a lovely soul
listening to the classical piano
and in no time at all
summer had given way to fall
i saw you board the bus and ride away
in how many languages do i have to say
please, stay?

and through the open window
the harvest wheat has been cut and piled high
sweet flowers of autumn red and summer blue
and a southern sky
dancing across the floor to you and i
and we finally kiss
all our moments led up to this
in how many languages do i have to say
please, stay?

during a starry night
i saw a spinning light and a strange moon
sweet flowers of autumn red and summer blue
passing too damn soon
eating at a table with just one spoon
and in no time at all
summer had given way to fall
i saw you board the bus and ride away
in how many languages do i have to say
please, stay?

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

finally to thaw

her voiceless breath
and i reached for the ready door
a lonely sidewalk with no footprints
so i followed
to frost crystals in a forest fortress
and an abundance of shelf fungi parade ground straight
overhead cracked branches and brazen crows
opening an open window wider and full of snow
making quiet noise
in no time unable to speak
a poetic hiding place without poets
a postcard perfect drifting
pure and simple and possibly perilous
smoothed out of a raw country
smuggled out of the prior spring like rare jewels
and slipping underneath an overhang of glacial rock
hardly ancient yet darkly old
once again the subject comes up
with a far more telling image of solitude
hidden away inside the cold cold cave
far from a burning hell:
our shivering skin,
shaking like an early alarm,
struggling to grasp heat from a faint sun,
but wrapped together in a warming embrace
mingling air
nose to nose
one into two without mathematical calculations,
having drifted from a pillowed room
into unmapped territory
blown by circumstance up a gentle hill
on a winding path that the deer have trimmed
finally melting
finally to thaw.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

there is always the moon: a memoir

there is always the moon
dropping light
like bright pebbles
or like an extravagant  ball
racing above the clouds in regular lunar phases
blurring the gap like opium blurs the brain
perhaps of a famous schoolboy poet
who wrote a memoir about a voluptuous woman
with a skill giving French lessons
to the poor
instead of using her beautiful voice to teach diction
and how
without a penny
and only a single friend
became a successful actress on stage
and early screen,
who spoke with her golden voice on the radio
from where it was heard
by Gertrude Stein
who immediately wanted to visit for a book idea,
but the hour was late,
the suggestion less than honest,
and the moon had already fallen from the sky
on a star-filled night.

Thursday, November 9, 2017

the local bull

the local bull
his balls heavy with top spin
his pasture field too abstract for grass
the hard dirt like an engraving on stone,
scratched by hooves and horn and
bursts of penetrating rain
a gun metal grey sky
smoking puffs of clay clouds
swirling around his wet ringed nose
roots and rocks as well as sand
the twisted tree
a white shed for shelter while the
cold winds blow:
so sure of himself
he went to work on his rest day
using the unlocked back door
of his favorite arena
not too far from the herd
stuffing himself with momentary pleasure
between her legs.

Monday, November 6, 2017

the color of blood

for a more perfect solution
don't jump into the water!
but it's up to you, to
run don't walk on freshly mowed grass
it's so much lower than high class
chasing the hardest walnut seed
or watching the grey squirrel treed
and edged with zigzag sunshine rays
close to low rising river hills
swimming momentarily for cheap thrills
chasing flotsam from the beach
slowly drifting out of reach
darkening like a shadowed flower face
the current pulling as though in a race
sporting decomposition with hard arms
devoid of any imaginary charms
down to the last finishing smile
and fishing for a little while
with enthusiasm and a safety net
of slick driftwood heavy and wet
stuffed with raisins and in a rising tide
of toy boats and seaweed
the color of blood that wild dogs bleed.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

A Special Flower

Ford Madox Ford.
Ted Hughes!
his old lady
and her oven shoes
writing in their London flat
where she poetically sat
listening to the news
with Ezra Pound
and Dorothy,
who slipped underground:
he to Venice
stressing clarity
& musical words
absent disparity.
Robert Lowell.
Robert Frost!
at St. Elizabeths
at any cost
at any hour
giving the inmate
a special flower.
James Joyce
had no choice:
he always wore glasses
to see
language and brilliant infinity,
while Marianne Moore,
went quietly approaching her door,
but no one was there.
and it didn't seem fair
that Edna St. Vincent Millay,
who kissed all lips,
had the softest fingertips
to write sonnets
which the modernists hated
and constantly berated.
they loved Eliot, though,
especially the flow
of The Waste Land:
Pound for Pound
despair
and
The Burial of the Dead is there
stirring the air.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

tearing petals off a daisy

i heard what he had to say
and it hasn't even been a year
but i remain here
not sure if it's night or day
tearing petals off a daisy
growing restless and increasingly lazy
and as i slept
promises were not kept

indeed, my bath is cold
i'm feeling old
sleeping 
weeping
sometimes i'm peeping
over the border wall
there is an iron urinal
in an old white church
and from my cell
i can hear the refugees stomp and yell
looking for a place of their own:
for awhile it would remain unknown

ready to believe anything
sitting on an empty swing
set up on the west wing lawn
i'm waiting for a brighter dawn
ready to see
doors open 
the children set free

i heard what he had to say
and it hasn't even been a year
but i remain here
not sure if it's night or day
tearing petals off a daisy
growing restless and increasingly lazy
and as i slept
promises were not kept

indeed, my bath is cold
i'm feeling old
sleeping
weeping
sometimes i'm peeking
over the border wall
there is an iron urinal
in an old white church
and from my cell
i can hear the refugees stomp and yell
looking for a place of their own:
for awhile it would remain unknown

ready to believe anything
sitting on an empty swing
set up on the west wing lawn
i'm waiting for a brighter dawn
ready to see
doors open 
the children set free

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

a reason for beauty to exist

and in classical style
i used my chainsaw
to cut wood
that is hidden away in my
back yard
chopped split and piled
screened from prying eyes
covered from rain and the like
and there's no reason to alter that
the property has entrances through the trees
none underground
and a fireplace inside linked to a tall chimney
so that in times of siege
i can stay warm on cold winter nights
with a neat bottle of middling red wine and an old book
of French poetry
totally free of riddles and drafts
and when quite fortunate
to share and care
there is a woman with tastes that are affordably
plain or fancy
seated closely
nestled in a brown leather chair
comfortably awake
and that's a reason for beauty to exist.

Monday, October 23, 2017

replacing blue and green

it's obscene!
and terribly mean
the repeated yelling
about a homosexual scene
and a subsequent arrest
but who is the real protagonist?
from the darkness of the theater
a woman shrieked;
her paper cup leaked
and the audience fell silent
when they learned who was sent
to save the day
they had nothing to say
about the suicide in a Washington bar
it might have happened far
away
and there was always hell to pay
for any water on the floor.
many old friends went off to war
and some would die
eating their mother's apple pie
to save face
an anonymous caller asked me for a taste
while someone ripped my coat
before the end of Act Three
but i escaped responsibility
like a successful trespasser in the dark
took a walk in Gorky Park
ice skated with a famous church mouse
in the backyard of his Georgetown house
sometime in early 2017
it's obscene!
and terribly mean
replacing blue and green
for West Virginia coalminer's black,
painting the White House walls
in full-size images of an Idaho potato sack
making calls
to bring back the ghosts of Christmas past.

Saturday, October 21, 2017

building the wall

oh shit!
in a letter to the Trump tower
there were comments about building the wall
and all the work and money
the back-breaking labor
the stupidity
the bullshit, frankly, and all the crazy stuff
well, just thinking about it gives me heartache,
so i'll pass with this comment:
somewhere there is a thief
supposedly honest
who was never accused of any wrongdoing
which he wouldn't deflect,
who hides a receipt under his remaining hair,
who regards himself as a builder
but mainly of his own reputation
and who, later in life, will probably co-author a very slim book
about his early years
working so so bigly hard to achieve world peace.
oh shit!

Sunday, October 8, 2017

Bowie

with the flag unfurled
The Man Who Sold The World,
lungs full
of Major Tom and stardust,
a busted Angie bust,
and a nose for changing money,
the only artist capable of
dressing like an androgynous honey
while acting like Cocaine Man,
played the pipes like mythological Pan
and did things differently each day
singing cabaret
100,000 miles
of strawberry blond smiles
far away
getting his rocks off
rocking with his socks off
at a crossroad with a Spiders From Mars book
he signed a contract for a closer look
stayed in tune and natural fact
without a straight and narrow track
he'd dance with his Brixton pants
pulled high over his head
like guitar Heroes
he meant exactly what he said
lighting a spark in the dark dark
jumping over the marriage bed
wham bam
thank you ma'am
Fame wasn't the only game
he went on to claim
in Black Tie White Noise
and all the famous Rebel Rebel boys
with children baskets filled with favorite toys
they did things differently each day
singing cabaret
100,000 miles
of strawberry blond smiles
far away
getting his rocks off
rocking with his socks off
at a crossroads he took a Spiders From Mars book
he signed a contract for a closer look
stayed in tune and natural fact
without a straight and narrow track
he'd dance with his Brixton pants
pulled high over his head
like guitar Heroes
he meant exactly what he said
lighting a spark in the dark dark
jumping over the marriage bed
wham bam
thank you ma'am

Saturday, October 7, 2017

one Last Supper

go back to your student days
of thinking clearly
or in a haze
would you care
if grounded
or up in the air
about anything there
fantascising conceptually
enslaved
or creatively free
missing out on no important detail
remember:  it's pass or fail
on the final page
escaping from your cage
into the outside
rather than the inside
power walking
or hitching a ride
living dreams
buying them
and visionary schemes
and torments and martyrdom
and thoughts of elementary school
acting dead
or playing it cool
in a cafeteria dress
at morning recess
kicking that spinning ball
against the solid brick wall
and a civil war broke out
much later in life
you carried a hidden plastic knife
when i heard you shout
eating one Last Supper
with a faint hint
of an after-dinner mint
while you filled your sketchbook
taking a last look
at all the fast women who became saints
and the men who died too young
and all the songs they knew and sung;
how they slaughtered the bull
kept eating until their bellies were full
rolling the dice
paying the price
but at the end of the day
they said what they came to say.

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

dying in the desert

Revolver
AK
what more is there to say?
NRA.
old man chopped down
young woman in a wedding gown
twisting her head to see the muzzle flash
from an unfamiliar point of view
could she be you?
backward and outward
running without direction or a shoe
jawbone broken in two
the cracking sound of another round
and each successive shot came so fast
tearing a little girl's head in half
the killer gave a silent laugh
watching her eyes
disappear and reappear
into another face
in his haste
reloading and reordering
brain matter on a country & western platter
gripping the rungs on an out-of-reach ladder
not far from the famous strip
the blood-spattered cigar fell smoking from the policeman's lips
as full metal jackets continued to rain down like hail
as if you could drive a nail
through it
thick as an armored battleship
smoke alarms
hundreds of people hurt
dying in the desert
Revolver
AK
what more is there to say?
NRA.

Monday, October 2, 2017

underneath the fingerprints of a god

oh yes
there are bones
skeletons of dogs
and sheep
and yet the one impression that i keep
inside my favorite foundry mold
is of a long tall tale of being old
in an age of superlatives:
deadliest mass shooting
most post-hurricane looting
and i have a lot of others, sisters and brothers
because i'm working on the history of Man.
i see him crawling away from his trash can
artificially built up by reputation,
dreaming of a prolonged retirement vacation
with his modern holiday lover
claiming to know how all the marked cards are dealt.
i watch his party ice melt
and his furrowed forehead become warm
underneath the fingerprints of a god
who had been modeled originally in clay
oh yes
someone pray.

on the bloody ground at Mandalay Bay

monstrous heads
small feet
kicking me
up and down the street
like a brushstroke
of writhing paint
on a colossal canvas
i faint
with an eloquence
all my own
on the bloody ground at Mandalay Bay
in Las Vegas, a concert moan
a groan
a dead mother
a dad and his brother
a son
a daughter
a senseless slaughter
during a time of peace
it has to cease!!
and fifty years later
a well-dressed waiter
might ask me if i'd like a drink,
but i'll have to think
about that.

Monday, September 25, 2017

the streets of Chicago burned

where did you march carrying the flag
in the summer of '68
when the streets of Chicago burned
with a passion beyond hate?
could you hear the voice of your daddy
say "Where is my son?" "Did he die?"
before you took another breath
did you ever wonder why
there were police surrounding Lincoln Park
and a cold wind blew from the lake?
were you enrolled in a great course
or weren't you even awake
when the helicopters flew at night
and the citizen soldiers fought?
when the songs were duty to country
which were the ones you were taught?
did you turn your back and run away
as the smoke burned your lungs and eyes;
and air filled with shouts of wonder
did you hear a mother cry?
into madness with a purple heart
in the summer of '68
when the streets of Chicago burned
with a passion beyond hate
did you take a seat while other boys
in their enthusiasms played
but could not stand the growing noise
and fell silent as you prayed.

Thursday, September 21, 2017

the Vietnam war ended

baby
maybe
i am not offended
that the Vietnam war ended
as it did because for my part
i gave my heart
i danced, had a drink
fell into the Mekong stink
cried, lied
felt terrified
lost my arms and feet
tasted numbness and defeat
it grabbed me by the hair
forced me into a razor-wire chair
laid me bare
until i sat dreaming
& steaming
in the afternoon breeze
muttering please
save me, honey
but i don't need your fucking money
i don't want your morning kiss
i prefer my worn mattress
and the cigarette burns on my polyester suit.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Larry Bird

Larry Bird
with much love and tenderness
and a killer jump shot
far from the hoop
a three point bomber
like a tight rope artist
an in your face dunk
and an Ovid-the-poet passer
like Apollo's first love,
the mountain nymph, Daphne,
striking fear
into the taller players hiding in treetops
unceremoniously
dreaming of defeat at the hands of the white kid
from French Lick.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Birthday Bash

was it
a backstage drama
or a pair of happy breasts seen through an open second story window
or a modern artist
displaying in a courageous manner
to her biographer?
well, the shift from memory to myth
requires a change of heart,
instead of a simple switch from Shiner Bock
to Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.
but i do remember a blue ice chest filled to the brim
with party hats
and a lime pie with an assortment of flaming candles, most
of which were dripping wax onto the peanut butter cake,
bought with small change and massively disappointing.
and while i wouldn't step into a dead man's boots,
i did drink inexpensive Chardonnay
because the price was right and the ensuing conversation
full of enthusiasm,
as was the spectacular bean salad.
a very costly link of sausage made from pure maple syrup
tasted sweet to one young musician called
Igor and his wife was Sally, who promised to use
saddle cream on his ass if he went for a bike ride
with his friend, Rodney.
Rodney was not interested.
but there were three exuberant ladies of the church who sang
in falsetto but were not really women and a dancer
who sang on an elevated stage as a real woman
and probably missed the bingo game scheduled for later.
initially it was a great blow to sit at a table which wobbled,
and i fixed that with a serving plate borrowed from an adjacent table
and no one seemed to mind;
after all, it was my birthday!
so before i ate dinner, i recited Lincoln's Gettysburg Address or, at best,
some of it
and i didn't know how good halibut could taste until i swam
away with it as an experiment,
hair flying in the breeze.

Thursday, August 31, 2017

one night in a local hotel

all my friends
some in the pond
and some i don't know
what they're up to
i certainly couldn't guess
but i digress
far from the social scene
where i sit down for an evening meal
and my iphone rings
but i am not at home
with no extra time to spare
i've almost completely cut my hair
in search of further guidance
i won't answer letters on principle
my hands are nervous but they're full
pouring beer and cooking with gas
i won't drink red wine by the case
toasting the massacre of the human race
or i'll suffer horribly
reading a recent catastrophic letter
questioning whether i'll take a sad song and make it better
during a final summer family trip
to the shores of southern New Jersey
which even now seem far away
i'm often obliged to be on the east coast
where i'll spend at least one night in a local hotel
hoping in the morning i'll feel well
after wondering throughout the night about the voices of the dead
and all those snarling, biting words they said
about a lifetime of overindulgence
in very rich food
i'm sitting beautifully by my bed kneeling
with a lover asking me how i'm feeling
knowing within days i'll be on the brink of death
sucking air as though each inhale could be my last breath.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

she had the last word

i managed to keep my distance
but saw my dog jump the fence
she disappeared with no time to spare
i looked everywhere
she wouldn't answer me no more
i searched the ceiling; i swept the floor
it was like a game of lost and found
but i wouldn't give up on that hound
maybe she chased an anxious deer?
well, i sat and drank a Coors beer
and thought of a ski trip to Colorado
hmmm, which way did she go?
is she still in the neighborhood?
i'd find her if i could
and finally, i saw her near some old tombstones
in a nearby cemetery filled with Masonic bones
she looked like she had rolled in fresh dirt
her mouth filled with a sugary dessert
it was an over-ripe peach from a local orchard
as usual, she had the last word.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

the descent of Man

working on my health
spending the summer undercover
i'm avoiding a tongue-in-cheek lover
dealing in cheap money
i entertain thoughts of a Los Cabos honey
while waiting for the total solar eclipse
and religiously following the nightly news
i ultimately choose
to see her slow motion hips
her beautiful face flashing behind her tantalizing lips
her whisper like the horny beak of a bird
and i try to understand each flying word
but there are times when the day simply washes away
and she has nothing rational to say
i look at all the empty cigarette packs
to remember what my life lacks
and every visit to the grocery store
gives me a reason to shop for more
before
leaving for a long affair
and i wonder when i'll ever get there
i look at my old hands and all i see are bones
i fill my pockets with memories and feathers and stones
i am told over tea not to be too mean
but have already decided to leave the social scene
ten minutes is all i need
to answer her letters and start to bleed
and i take off my shoe
knowing nobody knows what i'm up to
the evenings come to visit with a Sports Illustrated magazine
but i'm already reading on my back deck and stay unseen
in search of further guidance
i swallow some Don Juan peyote and go into a trance
there's always a full moon somewhere in the distance!
and i see steady light inside my studio
so that's where i should go
to watch a film about the descent of Man
but i don't think i can.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

i can't walk out

in the bright blue sky
two cone-shaped breasts
and in a series of anatomy tests
i finally satisfied my first taste
snapshots of your mysterious face
and a slender leg
well, i got down on my knees to beg
pointing my photographic head
to cool furniture and a hotter bed
and baby, on the edge of the cliff
i didn't want to be left with the questions
"What's for lunch?" or "What if?"
and you told me your favorite destination
we went for a summer vacation
a lovely dip and a delightful swim
you were laughing and beautiful and trim
and the tides gave me no room for doubt
i can't walk out
we stayed for an encore and watched the waves
in the bright blue sky
two cone-shaped breasts
and in a series of anatomy tests
i finally satisfied my first taste
snapshots of your mysterious face
and a slender leg,
well, i got down on my knees to beg;
i spent more time on the make
we had much to give and much to take
from each other
and in the end we found a new beginning,
hit a crazy streak and kept on winning,
making the rounds
in the color and texture of dark roasted coffee grounds
looking out to sea
contentedly
by a table and a little lamp,
feeling slightly damp.

Friday, August 11, 2017

the batter's box

thanks for listening
some years later
when i played second base
and caught a line drive with my backhand turned
to the pitcher's mound
and later threw a runner out at home;
it was a fetish!
a gloved defense against loss and despair
and you were there
with a wide mouth,
a question forming on the first base line:
would he make it to the pros?
like virtually all the girls
with two eye-holes and a soft heart
standing guard over my fate,
i didn't try to stave off your advances
while in the batter's box
taking practice swings at your curved breasts;
i saw your speeding vagina
coming inside high and tight
and the ump, once again, making the hand signal
for a strike, too flagrantly, i felt,
and i fantasized about pitching a no-hitter
in Yankee Stadium
when your sat on my face,
between innings,
as though i were the team bench.

Saturday, August 5, 2017

listening for an encore

Sydney
and the opera house
at dawn
was singing 'Good Day' to a
regatta of sailboats
which i saw
while walking to the famous bridge
out of my way
but not too far
at the end of the summer of
1970.
for nearly a month
i waited for my flight from
Saigon;
in spite of everything,
i was able to board
and on landing
the Aussie girls were waiting
after i cleared Customs and
found my army duffle,
their big round eyes shining
brightly in fresh happy faces.
they waited to dine and dance,
to walk and talk,
to peek and probe,
to be close to me, to touch.
did i ever say how much
it meant?
and in the crisp springtime, months away,
with the opera house filled with song,
the evening harbor aglow with lights, sails and stories,
i'd be waiting under a misty jungle canopy
far to the north,
listening for an encore.

Thursday, August 3, 2017

by my campfire

in Hiroshima,
it's a quiet evening
with a fiery red sun,
sitting stoically above the tall mountains
far to the east,
there are Japanese ghosts nearby
who dance in the deepening shadows.

a few years from now,
from my front porch,
looking up,
there will be fewer stars visible
in the night sky
because of persistent light pollution.

populations are expanding globally,
bringing cares and concerns and cities.

i'd rather see numerous stars than
sudden fear in any child's eyes.

there was certainly fear in the eyes of Japanese children
from Hiroshima and Nagasaki,
once.

do the adults they have become see the stars in the night sky?

these two cities have been re-born.

the children?  there are stories.

i must acknowledge Edison, perhaps,
or Tesla,
because there's darkness
beyond the nearest strip mall,
some welcome and some not so much,
but the shopping centers are fully alive with
artificial light.

it's still possible to find an absence of light,
but outside of the cities.

how far?

in parts of the Mekong delta,
for instance,
water buffalo still roam
without headlamps or streetlights,
stepping into fertile mud,
raising rice,
raising their heads with huge horns.

the Viet Minh have buried their dead
in that land,
along with their black sandals
and black shirts and black teeth.

they claimed a victory
over US Marines who came ashore at Da Nang,
splashing onto China beach like confident predators,
while keeping a watchful eye at dragon clouds
swirling atop Monkey Mountain.

the American troops were to protect innocent
civilians and corrupt Vietnamese generals
by force of arms and
with accurate shooting,
if possible with an unreliable M16.

but a Marine sharpshooter, living in the World,
sat high atop a campus clock tower
in Austin, Texas
shooting at people
far below who were
not Viet Cong
but were waiting for the Texas Oklahoma game to begin
or going about their morning business.

he might have been in Da Nang,
where killing was expected.

Iwo Jima, in the Pacific,
also had a pretend Marine,
John Wayne, a hollywood actor,
who got his feet wet in the black volcanic sand.

but he
didn't climb a clock tower to kill friends
or strangers,

even though he was said to grow a flower from a seed.

the Duke faded away, holding a stiff deck of cards,
a stiff drink,
and a smoking cigarette,
anxious to begin his shuffle toward a new beginning,
where he could act without killing,
without pretending to be someone he wasn't.

and the war to end all wars might have come and gone,
but it failed to end the madness.

the predators often eat their assigned prey,
sometimes wearing a type of uniform.

and sometimes they eat each other,
naked ambition dripping off chins like cooking grease.

i don't remember if there were any predators
at my high school back in the 1960's,
but once, at a post-prom party,
i wanted to read
The Stranger by Camus.

i was told
by a blond cheerleader i was kissing
to quit acting absurd,
and i thought that was funny!

when i met Picasso, a Spanish painter,
he told me at that exact moment,
blond was his favorite color.

the conclusion of our conversation
was a discussion about war:
we both agreed it was a sexual thing.

he liked hiding in French beach cabanas but i'd go anywhere.

the following summer i returned,
anxious to look for him.

i found that he was busy growing the nail on his little finger
while avoiding the subject of the German invasion of France,
though he did mention an earlier bombing of Guernica.

it was only after Salvador Dali
died that i took a renewed vow of sobriety,
excepting for, of course,
the better French wines which i couldn't afford.

i had seen too many ticking clocks melt into distorted shapes
like the faces of small children who
were once seen at play in the narrow streets
of Nagasaki, Japan one surprising morning
while a silver predator flew silently far, far overhead.

i read about Dresden, Germany
and that ugly fire bombing
and got sick, really sick,
as i had many times in the past
while reading about wars.

i've now been in bed writing for over a month,
give or take,
and will soon go outside for an evening walk,
hoping to find at least one
hungry stray cat,
which might once have been a tiger,
or a dog
which once upon a time was a wolf,
a type of predator,
and yet wants to be by my campfire
under a conspicuously starry sky

where we'll both howl to the moon.

Monday, July 31, 2017

we'll travel like gods

i saw a little sun
and i told my mistress
grab your overnight bags
give me a little kiss
we'll travel like gods
to another shore
to places we've dreamt of
but have never seen before
looking for a passage
to awe and inspire
a cavern of secrets
filled with romance and fire
our arms wrapped tightly,
buttocks and breasts,
no reputations to consider
like simple nomadic guests
in the spirit of the chase
laughing at the moon
we'd check in early
and check-out too soon
the highlight
as someone new might say
we'd be together
arm and arm each day
i saw a little sun
and i told my mistress
grab your overnight bags
give me a little kiss
we'll travel like gods
to another shore
to places we've dreamt of
but have never seen before.

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

she is myself as woman

she was running a temperature
i had a memory lapse
she held me in her master's grip
i felt my will collapse
she said we'd spend the summer
in each others' hungry arms
with a special sort of magic
and i'd fall into her charms
there were no clever whisperings
my head oddly erect
she said i wouldn't remember
but i could never forget:
i thought some things were funny
other moments seemed so sad
that doesn't mean pure darkness
there were other things i had
she said she was a sculptor
showed me a traditional bust
she said don't seem romantic
but i told her that i must
and i wrote her a love letter
in a fanciful design
she is myself as woman
and i wanted her for mine
she was running a temperature
i had a memory lapse
she held me in her master's grip
i felt my will collapse
she said i had a prideful nose
as she looked into my eyes
just a shade below androgynous
a serious disguise
she said she was a sculptor
showed me a traditional bust
she said don't seem romantic
but i told her that i must.

Saturday, July 22, 2017

thankfully it feels healthy to be

i could be blind
but i continue to live and work
into my ripe old age
while in my mind
psychic forces
like the roots of a healthy vegetable, build!
the world outside my window
has moved on from draft horses
to cybersecurity and Russian hacking,
to the functioning of IBM's Watson and NASA toilets,
to the dysfunction of democratic elections,
and to what craziness is the NRA backing?
i decided to stay in bed
at least on one occasion
when the outbreak of total war seemed imminent
and an excited young Presidential press secretary said
she would send me lots of money
if i'd talk to the writers at Saturday Night Live
emphatically stating that the White House
didn't find their sarcastic jokes funny
i was thinking her suggestion cute
just as an elegant chauffeur stood
and waved his finger pointedly in my direction;
i told him i was newly destitute
and couldn't afford his first world ride.
but, of course, i lied
i was going to winter in the south
where i wouldn't have to listen to any loud mouth
offer me a competitive auto insurance loan
or a high spending limit on an airline credit card
no, i wanted a living fence growing in my yard
without the glitter and glamor
of an unsustainable corporate Thor's hammer:
thankfully it feels healthy to be
uninterested in the fate of Apple or Google
while going to bed early, cautious and frugal.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

in a gentle breeze

at times intimidating
and at times fulfilling
was the lovemaking
in a gentle breeze
and what excited me the most
were the hints and the tease
the rubbing against each other
tearing ourselves to bits
in starts and fits
the intensity and the immediacy
and being uninterested in passing fashion
while totally consumed by passion
it's what i've put into my sketchbook
for a later wistful look
when i had a chance to take everything
this was the only image i took
the one to have an impact
a lasting fact
of remembrance
like opening a new door
and finding a silhouette
dancing lightly across the floor
in a ballet of sex
to mystify and perplex.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

kissinger, the lover

Henry, the lover
Kiss of death
light-skinned and dare i say
foul of breath
unafraid to push people out of his way
stepping over tombstones
guilty of bleaching their bones
all in the course of a busy Washington afternoon
like a drunkard with his flask
or a junkie with his spoon
selling his mind like a whore sells her body
so filled with luminous pride
his mouth moved and he fashionably lied
infatuated with power
with an accent designed to beguile the press
who overlooked his foreign policy mess
understanding nothing beyond the fact
that he screwed them from the front and humped them from the back
their bodies entangled in barbed wire
he set them on fire
continued to make his deals
either foul or fair
he didn't give a damn or care
his favorite affair
infatuated with power
every second and each hour
and there's no room left for applause
his favorite cause
Henry, the lover
Kiss of death
light-skinned and dare i say
foul of breath.

Sunday, July 9, 2017

at the Flamingo

jazz at the Flamingo
wearing dark glasses
from the deepest south
a harmonica slipping
all the way across my wide mouth
all the way down to the county line
looking for someone who's exclusively mine
winning her confidence
with my nightly dance
nude pictures dangle on the studio wall
in high heels i showed them all
in the Marquee Club
sitting on a simple chair
dressed in jewels and fine mohair
quite the dude but never rude
while live at the Pier Pavilion
the girls were very different
big eyelashes and a passing hopeful hint
a faint smile
in character and hearty morale
starched shirts and thin ties
curious make-up and stranger eyes
they watched me play my 6 string guitar
humming on the front seat of my beautiful car
and in the pub after a quick ride and tune
it was already very nearly noon
but the young ladies didn't give me a choice
they wanted to hear my sweet singing voice

Saturday, July 8, 2017

The High Numbers at the Railway Hotel

The High Numbers at the Railway Hotel
playing 8 tracks
jumping jacks
hiding in a hand-dug well
can you finally tell
me WHO?
and i'll tell you why
the best damn drummer
Keith Moon
died too soon
an empty drink in his stick hand
and a rock and roll band
WHO ran out of breath
his death
a lonely mountain
pennies in the water fountain
a deaf dumb and blind boy winning
pinball swimming
not intended to be silly
Pictures Of Lily
how do you think he does it?
with smiles and smiles and smiles
I Can See For Miles
and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles.

Friday, July 7, 2017

"Get ready to get ready!"

and the sculptor said
"Get ready to get ready!"
it sounded so absurd
the interviewer had to laugh;
but he was not feeling well, either.
his face had an oily look
and his nose oozed wet,
but, sitting in a rocking chair,
he composed himself and carried on.
the sculptor had bright pink fingernails
and wore expensive Chinese extensions
which seemed to make her long neck
disappear under naturally kinky hair.
she wanted to become famous,
standing by a polished piece of rock
in her famously relaxed manner.
i sat and listened to them,
sipping pomegranate juice,
and waited to ask my questions,
but they ignored me.
"Shit," i said, "Look at this!"
and they immediately turned
and said in union
"That's not how to draw attention to pain."
i considered that significant
and quietly left the room.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Kiki de Montparnasse

kiki
who were you?
maybe the girl with the
golden shoe
at the railroad station
late one sultry night
darting in and out of sight
while dressed up like a child?
(as an artist model you were
daring and wild!)
i lowered my hand
and stuffed it in my pocket
as you went swiftly by;
i heard your anguished cry
fall upon disinterested ears!
all those living dreams and dying fears
are not faring well,
fleeing the room,
fetching a hat,
posing for a photograph,
looking this way and that
like a hungry poet
who doesn't understand
what it is to be one
and can't seem to know it.
kiki
on your return
would you burn
the words written on the platform wall?
of course,
burn them all!
to whom do they belong?
the lyrics of a 1920's song?
like bits of ribbon and cloth
and patches
and discarded matches
and candle grease.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

her home was Mississippi but she lived in Tennessee

she leapt from her chair
she sprang across the avenue
a young woman with purplish hair
she said she had no interest in going back down there
her parents were judgmental and the preacher seemed unfair
her home was Mississippi but she lived in Tennessee
she had no problems with her boyfriends but she came right up to me
and i saw her alcohol stare
felt her pinch my pretty nose
and when i failed to show any interest
she torn into my clothes
well, we didn't have time for a quarrel
i hardly knew her first name
there were plenty of country hillbillies
who loved to play her game
but i was a traveling cowboy
looking to make a quick buck
i felt life was dealing me a strong hand
but now tragedy struck
a southern woman was doing more to me than flirt
she pulled on my western pants and pressed my buttoned shirt
her home was Mississippi but she lived in Tennessee
she had no problems with her boyfriends but she came right up to me
and i saw her alcohol stare
felt her pinch my pretty nose
and when i failed to show any interest
she torn into my clothes
well, we didn't have time for a quarrel
i hardly knew her first name
there were plenty of country hillbillies
who loved to play her game.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

nobody was saluting Man Ray

a silver label
of black and blue,
a solitary rock
and a bird that flew
when nobody was saluting
Man Ray
who found nothing new to say,
although he looked into his pocket
before he walked away.
the following week
in a fancy dress
he ran his hands through his Paris hair
to create another mess;
he later jumped into the night
for a cigarette or two
and as the fragrant smoke blew
he took a photograph
looking for you,
and what he found,
as the Dada band struck up,
was an old recording of a Beatles' song
and an empty cup
from the summer of '74
before the avant-garde party ended
and the final world war
found disbelieving people sleeping on the floor,
but the deed was done.
i finally walked back in
in the eyes of the watching world
and maintained my boyhood grin
when nobody was saluting
Man Ray
who found nothing new to say,
although he looked into his pocket
before he walked away.

Monday, June 19, 2017

stars like a kiss

the pink sneakers
turning on the floor
an island washing white sand
with foaming bubbles of timeless blue
there's music playing inside your head
with sun
glasses
and dances and gestures
elsewhere in the garden
there's no end in sight
with the other guests
singing
in place
spinning
in place
with no point
without beautiful songs
all around
the girls picking jasmine
the boys, too,
with flowers;
and smiles
are real mountains
shimmering
while the great oceans swim
and away in the distance
a whispering
so close by
it becomes a lovers' hug;
stars like a kiss,
resting on your quiet lips,
sparkle in the sky.

Monday, June 12, 2017

won't you pack your bags and come?

i know it's not time
there are more summer nights to come
and i can already hear a friend
playing on his kettle drum
and there's a hot campfire
near plenty of ice cold beer
i might dream of being somewhere else
but why not be content staying here?
in my small town
with the FM radio
the mountains are flat
and there's no sign of an early snow
the grass is pasture green,
the boys wear their proud red necks
the sweet girls do their square dance
jumping off backyard decks
for their big chance at romance
stopping only to laugh at simple jokes
yes, we're having a river party
thinking of ourselves as simple folks
where the back seat is a great place to meet
and bright red lip stick is a famous country music lick
for Bobbie Sue and me and you
and don't feel bad because we're not sad
it's okay to pull up an easy chair and stay
no one has to be profound or have an important word to say
the night air
gets us high and in that evening sky
the harvest moon shines for lovers
who get the silly shivers under covers
and a kiss from a favorite Miss
or a Mister, becomes a permanent memory
this ain't no time for breathless brevity
it's time for lingering by the open window
with what you know and i know
it's when swinging on the front porch
is still the best way to carry the torch
for your special someone
so, don't ask me what i've done
won't you pack your bags and come?

Friday, June 9, 2017

James Comey and the donald

Genghis Khan
would gut you
but Jame Comey like a constrictor
will squeeze the life
from your lying body;
he won't mess with your mind:
that is already worthless.
so donald, hire the best lawyers
your family can afford!
bring in your old buddies
from New York and spin
stories into golden yarns
while
your twin tower sons
spew crap out of their mouths,
having learned from you
how to prevaricate
and embarrass themselves.
but you need help,
more than they can possibly provide.
see a shrink!

Monday, June 5, 2017

remembering the songs of his youth

i had a chance meeting with an umbrella
on the town sidewalk
near the front door of a church
and we both joked about the pale blue patches
of sky
and the tiny puddles of water in the street
as the Sunday sermon was ending
a strange thief walked by
looking at us
as though we were responsible for hiding his loot
even though we didn't know it was already in the ditch
out of sight and out of reach
covered by sandy gravel
so we followed his footsteps
to the summer playground where we saw
him play with his own umbrella
making a powerful face as he tried to
turn it into a sewing machine
but in spite of all his efforts
with the thimble and the thread
only a single school of fish appeared
and
blowing bubbles they surfaced
directly into a room for smoking pot
rather than tobacco
and much later when they asked the thief
to surprise them with an artificial lake,
he put on a pair of sunglasses and went for a swim,
remembering the songs of his youth.

Sunday, June 4, 2017

we all want to go to Paris!

we all want to go to Paris!
we'll dance around that terrible sound
of black gold gushing
out of the ground
& watch the tiny mad men go rushing
like Peeping Tom
through their telescopes;
the self-promoting dopes
in a tangle of dying pine trees
choking on their crooked knees
in once a peaceful neighborhood
but now we have a tragedy
and it wasn't just me
watching smoke pouring from a stacked chimney
my unbought eyes can clearly see
the ocean tides' chest high
and no one need wonder why
in the middle of the room in a wet dress
and no one has to wonder or guess
shaded lamps and warm black shadows
and so it comes and so it goes!
all the way back to the garden
when we did not draw or paint
even Eskimos feel the heat and faint
so someone has to answer questions:
who will become the Saint?
we're hopelessly muddled in a quagmire
swallowing brimstone and oak wood fire
beauty, it's been said, is in the eyes of the beholder
both the younger and the older
wildflowers wilt and green fields smolder
we're hopelessly muddled in a quagmire
swallowing brimstone and oak wood fire
we all want to go to Paris!
we all want to go to Paris!

Saturday, June 3, 2017

Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man

balls on a cold hard anvil
instead of in a soft feminine hand
and that's a tremendous difference
especially for an atheist
who is already six years
into reconstructive heart surgery,
so i kept reading
with growing interest
and a head for details
of the give-and-take of a battle
which was embarrassingly brutal
except for a moment of kindness
when a nurse went looking for water.
Hiroshima was months away from
the arrival of Little Boy
and his uranium 235 slug of booze
which would be dropped
from a B-29 piloted by the son
of Enola Gay,
and the timing would be text-book
perfect,
followed by an abrupt aircraft turn
and a swirling mushroom cloud:
the cloud proved to be completely inedible.
ground zero was plotted to be near a major hospital
which immediately ceased to exist,
the patients inside never to know
how beautiful their personal pictures could become.
Fat Man,
meanwhile,
stayed in a secure cabin on Tinian island,
reading whatever he wanted
stuffing his mouth with plutonium 239
instead of LSD:
he said he didn't want to experience
Foxy Lady or have any recurring bad dreams.
a major exhibit of his works
would be on display
in Nagasaki, Japan, a short
3 days after
Enola G
put on her show for all the local dealers
and other gallery artists.
i paid less than twenty bucks for the book
and spent most of my free time between readings
holding a tambourine behind my head,
imagining a halo.

Thursday, June 1, 2017

i mounted it and signed my name

and in a haze
i caught her gaze
and she called to me
and there we were
in our uniform of fur
marching in a corner of the kitchen floor
cooking up some hard noodles and something more
was boiling in the rising steam
like an ironical dream
and all i had to hang onto was a single nail
piercing the roof in a vertical space.
she leaned in and took a taste;
i happened to notice when she smiled,
her face became jungle wild
and i wanted a spoon and a tall glass of whisky.
the shadow was hers but the hunger was inside of me;
we tried to remember all that was known
as she tossed her stick and i threw my stone
but like a sorcerer's apprentice it touched nothing but air!
she set her mind to eating lunch
i needed to frame a painting but had a hunch
there might be something for me to eat as well
but i still needed to gather things to sell
to help defray the costs of the drinks and dinner
i grabbed a picture of myself as a past sinner
and in a rich-looking frame
i mounted it and signed my name.

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

in a chaos of mouth and eyes

it was like a fire
when beauty trembled;
that's what i learned
when everything smoked
and burned
and nothing resembled
what i once knew;
even the blackbird flew.
so, i settled into my new studio;
there was no way for me to know
how to wear my dominating dress.
i saw many people who woke up to success
as well as to a cup of coffee,
but not to me.
i couldn't be entirely sure
who would enter and who would leave!
i held nothing up my sleeve.
there was no known cure
for indecision,
or for lack of precision,
or for impersonating a bull;
my dinner plate was completely full.
periodically someone would call
from their wallpapered wall
but the phone would go immediately dead:
nothing new was heard or said.
i'd draw my kitchen knife
and the hanging still life
had no way of knowing in its' zeal
what it felt like to feel
out of reach sitting on the beach
or in the grocery aisle with a contented shopper's smile:
there are enough ideas to last a lifetime.
at least that's what i learned in school.
and i'm no fool;
but i could return to my room
to indulge myself in imagery,
acting goofy and totally free
in a chaos of mouth and eyes,
his and hers smiles and lies;
and maybe i'd try to appoint
just to make a point
a bit of color, a half tint,
where all that would remain is a passing hint.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

it might have been God

acting on my own behalf,
i might have been interested
in meeting God
but in the end He went to a tailor in Memphis
while i visited my sister in San Antonio;
seriously, how was i to know?
we failed to communicate.
was i too early or was i again late?
and once at home,
i removed most of my doors
and painted a few walls
a new color or two;
well, what's a man to do?
other
wise
i might have returned to my promiscuous ways
which on most days
i'm able to ignore.
i scrubbed the basement floor,
had a chair embroidered,
and determined to learn how to make bread
with The Italian Baker.
thanks, no salt and pepper shaker:
i wanted to watch the yeast rise!
well, what's life without a surprise?
my very favorite one was in 1952
when i was turning four:
my father told me we were poor
and no one would ever notice me
even if i wanted them to!
button your shirt and tie your shoe!
yes, pop.  it would eventually stop.
back then, my family had a glass tumbler,
a dust mop, a sofa of thin blue cloth,
a solitary fig,
and for my mother's bald head, a dime store wig
which made her look like an Comanche warrior,
but we had no grand idea of what comes next
we couldn't easily hide
well, maybe hope for a rising tide?
one going, say,
to the third floor
or perhaps more.
and after i went off to war
i wore a sign on my chest
which someone later showed to a local banker
and he gave me a job
but never taught me how to legally rob;
i saw money piled in a box
it was the biggest box ever seen
like in my post-traumatic stress disorder dream
and i stood mesmerized
i saw huge gold pieces
and found them amusing
but i knew deep down inside that i was the one losing.
well, i had some friends to see
and they would welcome me
and no amount of house cleaning
could replace the meaning
in that.
should i take my car
and acoustic guitar?
i was tired of wishful thinking
but my belly stayed full
well, what's life without another fool?
i remember very clearly twenty years later
the beauty of a loyal dog
who followed me when i walked:
she was always the quiet one when we talked.
she would snuggle up
while i read my book;
and when the wind picked up
i wouldn't even look.
it might have been God coming back from Memphis
or, to make this clear,
a dear
jolly man in a red suit with his flying sled
led
by a red-nosed reindeer
all coming with gifts.
i always wanted the presents,
fearful as i was of the God
and his crippling rents.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Mandolin Wind

a few patches
of hair
here and there
and color
with a hem and a haw
a bit of dye
and a passing why
a second sketchbook
is what it took
before the third
a ram's head
or a happy man
showing skin at a local park
arranging his basket lunch
ripe tomatoes and an apple
picked from the dwarf tree
the orchard nearby
beguiling and gently
Ronnie Wood smiled
"Mandolin Wind; it's wild!"
Rod Stewart
whispered not too vainly,
"It will be instantly salable!"
and my fruit dish
brimming with flavors
was my first of that summer
i arranged the table cloth
with clean napkins and a large paper plate
which made me feel great
an additional instrument
was her soft voice
a 12 string
with a melodious ring
rather more subdued
than the British rockers
her outline in muted colors
tickled the fine grass
she peeled my apple
and gave me a piece
i grabbed a tomato
and watched what happened
when i gave her a squeeze;
she said please
and we talked for almost a hundred years.

Monday, May 22, 2017

painted like a kiss

the woman's smaller face
and huge breasts
painted like a kiss
on my bedroom wall
so i kept looking
and guessing
and looking again
it was only
a few months earlier
and i was doing a lot of work
a whirlwind of legs
a whirlwind of writing
confetti on the floor
cigarettes like wild mushrooms
on the backyard deck
wine bottles
and corks
and a cheap silk bowtie
underneath a turquoise umbrella
wearing an outrageously starched shirt
they turned out to have more in common
than might have been thought
i blamed myself
for the visceral images
in my mind
drawn from an adolescent prankster
who had given way to a more dramatic
allegorical still life of a man
his tiny arm clutching a pen
like a thunderbolt
like a beach towel
with the figure of Jupiter on top of it
and a clock wound down to the gum line.
have you seen the latest movie
about an alien world
with a hidden agenda,
stripped of any significance
an economic system slowly disintegrating
like a useless utensil?
lastly, her lips were bright red
glossy with temptation
two pieces of a puzzle
hiding from prying eyes
but open for my own.
it would soon be summer and the
celestial weapon of the sun
might burn my skin
but i could use her bust to hide my face
like a carpenter's square can hide
an angle,
and we'll become oranges
sucking all the juice we can
from life,
like architects
who imagine the fantastic.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

a woman in his lap

a large house
in a large garden
and flowers,
a great many hours
of spring time showers
a lazy dog
with psychic power
licks the kitty
outside of the nearest city
and in the end
he got little
but another cat fight;
the leading light,
despite bouts of manic drinking
and attempted thinking,
was a busted
but trusted
college grad
at times both happy and sad
who cleaned the litter box
washed socks
searched the sky for Venus
played with penis
confessed in autobiographical writings,
his entire face covered in stainless steel,
exactly how he wanted to feel
many a morning
without warning
when he had to get back down to earth
satisfied that he knew exactly what he was worth
dancing to ragtime
Louis Armstrong
what more could go wrong?
he had the lucky number seven
like trying to live in heaven
black tiled floors
minimal chores
cafe chairs
an abundance of greying hairs
phone calls not returned
piles of wood unburned
until an alfresco dinner one winter eve
with nothing up his sleeve
but there was a passing rumor
of black humor
sitting by the fire,
a woman in his lap
considering a nap
after having given a kiss
one he especially liked to taste
her lips around his waist,
and he could hear her sighs,
see her vaginal eyes
sparkling like a unconventional art lover.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

what more did we need to know?

and the other ballet
it came and went
like some other day
but not tomorrow
and not today.
what should i say
to back up my claim
that there's very little to lasting fame?
you certainly can't remain
dreaming in the south of Spain
taking pictures on the distant beach
far out of reach
from what all the teachers' teach
as they blend stories into time;
hey brother, can you lend me a dime?
so sensitively in a long soup line
i hear a starving man speak!
he wouldn't be returning for another week
and you didn't fare any better
i threw away your attempt at a romantic letter
when i noticed it was left unsigned,
but i had already told you i resigned.
we had a famous scene from a cancelled show;
what more did we need to know?
you wore a mask and an old swim suit
and had friends who told you you looked cute.
i went to work playing on my flute
and it was bad enough
our exchanges seemed just like trading stuff
when we went from easy to impossibly tough,
like two gods clustered around an old piano
and what we knew we really didn't know
our mistake was beautiful but it came to an abrupt end
like passing the coffin of a dying friend,
i see your silhouette out the back door;
not necessarily what it meant once before.
a crucified Christ sits upon the floor
and it would be hard to overlook
his written words in an unfinished book
but that was then and this is now
you went shopping and i refused to bow
and then somehow
the center shifted and the roadshow began
you took a walk while i ran
and the other ballet
it came and went
like some other day
but not tomorrow
and not today.
what should i say?
we had a famous scene from a cancelled show;
what more did we need to know?

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Watergate was playing again

the faithful jester
came to the podium
and gave his spiel;
i expected him to do no less!
in gratitude,
i said he seemed real,
but he was a phony
dispatched to lie and cheat
and do whatever,
while the star of the show
stayed hidden out of sight,
trying to act clever.
he ate two scoops of ice cream
and fired the Director of the FBI
before ten.
the public heard the news
and wondered if Watergate
was playing again.
but this was a new ballet
with gestures of the hands,
a dance of deceit
with obstruction and ego
tossing ethical standards of conduct
out into the street.
and to cure a headache
i asked the Russians to explain
what they knew;
they said to check the tapes,
the tax returns,
and how his modest fortune grew
into a mighty pile of dough;
like a mountain topped with snow;
like a belly filled with sweets.
he stands and greets
his interviewer with a smile
and says
"i'll let you live for a little while
and your news is fake;
my supporters are the reason
i'll never be tried for treason
or for being incompetent"
and in that he finally spoke some truth.
James Comey before he was axed
said the boss wanted loyalty
and wouldn't accept simple honesty.
the CIA
stayed inside to play
and an independent investigation
might be launched or might be killed
and the waiting public
being conned
were no longer acting thrilled.
it was a time for the adults
to clean the romper room
to end the dangerous show,
but they couldn't seem to agree
on a single unifying direction
in which to go.

Sunday, May 14, 2017

east front street

ah, and with a quiet breath
out of my depth
i found myself over my head
remembering the last words you said
rolling with the punches
making guesses
playing hunches
playing without you
but it's not what i'm looking to do
i'm just a guy asking myself why
there's no easy street
no short cut to the top
no pie in the blue sky
still can't get my dream to come true
i'm looking out for myself
but i'm looking for you
feeling blue
i'm painting the town red
remembering the last words you said
in the dark whispering
east front street
will we meet?
and i'm hoping the lights change
life's strange
but
still can't get my dream to come true
i'm looking out for myself
but i'm looking for you
running while standing still
trying to chill
trying hard to keep my nose clean
it's hard not to be mean
the tables are turned
how much have i've learned?
rolling with the punches
making guesses
playing hunches
playing without you
but it's not what i'm looking to do
i wonder why won't the sun shine
you once told me you were mine
now i'm walking with empty pockets
and you're still on my mind
behind the door i'm standing
for you to find
there's no lock
no ticking clock
i'm painting the town red
remembering the last words you said
in the dark whispering
east front street
will we meet?
and i'm hoping the lights change
life's strange
rolling with the punches
making guesses
playing hunches
playing without you
but it's not what i'm looking to do.

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Miss Liberty & Masters of War

and on their way,
fully dressed to kill,
up and over the top of Bunker Hill
they climbed the Stairway to Heaven
for a better view of the steel woman with spiked hair;
they knew she was there
with flames in her right hand,
as she talked to a former lover
a month before his unexpected death
when he tried to run but ran out of breath.
and peering closely, the gum shoes joined arms to see
the woman urgently singing on the stage of Bohemian Rhapsody
the songs "Tired! Tired!"
and "Poor! Poor!"
her eyes falling away from her forehead
when she laughed at them and wished them dead
crowded together on their ludicrously small perch.
they guessed she must be a Black Magic Woman
when she disappeared behind tight lips
and the passing sailing Wooden Ships
only to reemerge in a swirling cloud of fog
fashioned in the image of Miss Liberty
hoping for a complete victory
when she hit them on the head
in an attack so vicious
they bled for several hours.
i'm convinced had they not meddled
Another Brick in the Wall
would not have been made to fall
and she would have seen them stoned on
Cocaine and not political power
In The Midnight Hour.
the new Sultans Of Swing finally got a hint
and began yelling back,
but never really understanding
they were now on the wrong side of the history track;
her copper tablet came crashing down on
each man's head,
demeaning them as well as their friends
who stood helplessly by,
too afraid to cry,
too cast down by misfortune to even smile.
the Masters of War, as they now came to be known,
wished the woman away,
made a daily effort to pray
and tried to stop the press,
made everyone else guess
what they had up their sleeve;
they wanted the electorate to believe
anything their crazy leader said
or did
even when he blew his lid;
and in the ensuring riot,
a momentary quiet;
an Immigrant Song
like steam rising above a spreading chestnut tree,
huddled masses yearning to breathe free
spread from sea to shining sea
in a slow dance winding through the streets,
within concrete canyons,
over fertile fields of plenty,
no one dressed to conform
looking for
a Shelter From The Storm.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

what will my country do?

codependence
or are you sitting on the fence
since we've come a long ways
fighting from the roof tops
listening to the conductor call out the stops
exiting and entering the maze
when it seemed the right thing to do
we ran from the false gods and embraced the rational true
and so i have a passing question for you
are you willing to gamble on a roll-the-dice ramble?
are we living in a free land with rules
or are we only consumers and slaveholder's tools?
well don't look around
the little guys might be stealing your ground
obedient small men are sneaking up without a warning sound
and they'll grab you by the scruff of your neck
toss you complaining and shrug "Well, what the heck!"
they'll sink the ship of state and hang you on the quarter deck
and it could be a fine Sunday and you'll hear your neighbor curse
but the priest is a sinner and his bishop is much worse
a child abuser and a known mysterious user
but the president is the greater fool
using his ignorance like a tyrants penetrating tool
his boys with their guns come knocking at your door
and it's no use hiding on your bedroom floor
there's no safe haven anymore:
they hear you talk and watch you walk
and if you don't complain
you'll be forever stuck in the slow lane
they're passing gas and passing fast
and the stink is like a big city garbage dump
well, Mr donald j. trump
women are more than a piece of meat to hump
and the rule of law
is more than a missed phone call:
i'm gonna take my dog to the nearest mountain top
if she sees a running rabbit she'll never stop
i'll have water and a bite to eat
a sunshade hat to ease the afternoon heat
and i won't miss you
but what will my country do?

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

before leaving for the summer

before leaving for the summer
i watched a film about Woodstock
and heard the White Rabbit music by the Jefferson Airplane
but when night fell it began to rain
and it rained for forty days and forty nights
i had an itinerary and booked my flights
saw a few friends pass California grass on their hand-rolled time,
Brother, can you lend me a dime?
and rolled slowly down to a hot food tent
where i was politely asked to pay the farmer's rent
i said there must be a mistake
no one is having a bad trip listening to the Grateful Dead!!
there are innocent babies sleeping in a nearby bed
and the jungles of Vietnam are thousands of miles away
American soldiers are being killed there
while Buddhist monks continue to pray
high on a shining mountain
at the intersection of hope and despair
tens of millions of gentle people camping through the 60's wearing
nothing but long hair
not far from the New York Thruway
and the Golden Gate bridge
a country fellow on the Choctaw Ridge
welcoming Earth Day
all across the nation
people smoking homemade love
as did the Peace dove
so i grabbed my bags when you finally reached me
i saw the sparkle in your eyes
better than any early morning Christmas surprise:
and in the winter we'll stack our wood for the fire
filling shelves with our better Selves.

Sunday, May 7, 2017

the best i have eaten

there were Two Nudes
and a golden doodle
and they did more to lift my spirits
than Johnny Walker and his wife
who frequently lived in the apartment above my
basement shop.
i dealt in paintings of Old Masters,
sometimes being confused
by what i was looking at,
trying to divine the notion of movement
which is a quality i value.
i've often wondered if Adam and Eve ever saw
an apple tree in a classical garden?
or did the clever serpent finally achieve a likeness of a poet?
there is little to be learned from the reviews
of my life
and the orphan that went to school alone
with his Donald Duck lunch box
reminded me
to always suck on a monumental scale,
as he handed me an unused cube of sugar.
i still have that cube, hidden in my bedroom closet.
yet i was embarrassed by a feeling of
emptiness,
but it never filled me completely;
i often shouted when reading instead of
using my whispering inside voice.
and the terrible war had ideas that i tried to avoid
because boys should not hit other boys,
especially strangers
who may have wounds or may not.
i once met a black cat sleeping on my kitchen carpet
and several fish that i had adopted
but then i got lost on my afternoon drive into
the smallest near town
looking for a change in direction,
and the very next time i was washing dishes,
the cat was nowhere to be found but the fish were
nearby
reading a Julia Child cooking book.
everything changes according to circumstances
and the dinner that night was the best i have ever eaten:
it was grilled red snapper and the woman stayed close
while she ate her ripe red strawberries.

Friday, May 5, 2017

we weren't going to go anywhere

i'm gonna give you the latest word
and it'll probably be the worse thing you've ever heard
but it's better than a field knife
taking away your precious life
or that stale oatmeal cookie
the day you decided to play school hooky
or the afternoon we watched the rising moon
by our secret lakeside shore
when we heard about the start of yet another world war;
we meditated on the bloody grass,
skipping class,
and we feared they would take away our fine horse.
but of course
there are better ways to die,
kissing the sky!
you and i kept wondering why
the stars came out at night;
for a moment things seemed to be alright.
a breeze blew and we tried to stand tall
it wasn't an easy thing and i saw you fall
there was a moment when i almost lost my shoe
but we lost ourselves and didn't know what more to do:
too many men came into our tent and wouldn't go away!
they read a proclamation which gave them permission to stay!
we wouldn't allow ourselves to pray
but in your bag you found an American Indian arrowhead
while i pretended to be dead
you sang your song and washed your hair
we knew we weren't going to go anywhere
and in the latest news
we heard how young lovers with nothing to lose
in the City of Men are encouraged to choose
between darkness and the ever more growing dark:
a strange walk in an overgrown park.
you sang your song and washed your hair
we knew we weren't going to go anywhere.

Monday, May 1, 2017

he couldn't even tie a shoe

there is little to be learned
from his rallies and all the pompous talk;
i adopted a wait-and-see attitude,
wondering if he could walk the walk
but he didn't know a thing or two:
he couldn't even tie a shoe.
too much of a chauvinist
and too well-known to be a mechanic,
i waited in the wings far from the party,
calmly breathing to avoid panic;
i was horrified he'd be a fool:
drain water from the public pool.
and now we know the story;
the large portrait is a picture of HIM
without any cogent plan for anything;
he keeps promising WIN WIN WIN WIN!!!!
but he didn't know a thing or two:
he couldn't even tie a shoe.

Monday, April 24, 2017

at Harvard

and to reinvent myself
i became a dog
not just any dog
but a world-class product
of high quality egg
and slippery sperm
who would head off to Westminster
with my parents
who had
settled in Paris many years ago
when rents were cheap and croissants
plentiful.
i imagined the promised land
and didn't know if i would get there
but i was an instant success
with the ladies of the street;
i was handsome, cultivated, and able to
control my bladder-as long as
my mood was good.
i aspired to live a life
that would be the envy of artist and star dogs,
working like a dog.
i would sniff out a bitch who was beautiful, intelligent,
creative, and fertile;
she had to be a good mother to the pups,
and would recognize my fundamental
soundness and pedigree, entrusting
her fidelity.
i carried no trace of my former life as a homo sapiens,
since my apprenticeship as a dog was very productive and short,
and sweet, too.
i found i
actually liked peeing outside and i did it
in a hard-edged style, three legs in the air;
it would have been out of character to use a toilet.
years later, i became a circus clown, after
having studied architecture at Harvard.
i was the first dog to get accepted there.
ah, it's a dog's life.

from room to room

one heart
with four chambers
the blood moves from room to room
it comes in at midnight and leaves at noon
but you don't have to be wealthy
to be healthy
one knife
with four twists
the pain stabs at the quiet soul
it penetrates and leaves a deep hole
but you don't have to seek wisdom
to realize
there comes a time when the size
of your hat
isn't really where it's at
and all the sacrifice
wasn't all that nice
there comes a time when the hands
of your clock
take a walk around the block
and all the secret care
doesn't get you anywhere
which means,
it seems,
that i fell flat on my face
and you decided i was a basket case
then things got messy
it didn't help when i got dressy
and sang on the public stage
you locked me in an anxiety cage
and juggled the key
is it any wonder i no longer wanted to be me
and you
still with good health
sat me on the kitchen shelf
but my bread wouldn't rise
my swollen eyes,
with a glass of whisky near my lips,
whispered your name between sips.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

making our own weather

it was in a mocking spirit
that she said to me
she wanted to be free
to climb any tree
in the forest and at dawn
i was already gone
packing a bunch of stuff
wondering if it was enough
to see me through
but i had a great view
of the fields ahead
and remembering what she said
i shifted my load
continued tramping down the road
wondering what else could go wrong?
i heard a harmonica play a comforting song
and saw a man climbing up his extension ladder
he couldn't reach the top but what did it matter?
he seemed to be satisfied
so it wasn't for me to ask him about pride
and if i did he might have lied
or he might have pretended not to have heard
i didn't want to have the last word
i was afraid of being confused
feeling wrapped up, tossed out or abused;
and then there was a dog who started to tag along
she shook her head as though i was doing something wrong
it just seemed to me she was acting like a judge
i didn't know her but already held a grudge
i quickly learned she wanted to be fed
and when nightfall came she stayed near me in my bed
she had no name that i could find
when it became dark i became totally blind
and yet in the morning i found she was quietly sleeping by my side;
it wasn't for me to ask her about pride!
so down the highway we went together,
blowing like tornadoes making our own weather.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Brazil

Brazil
baby

Rio de Janeiro
Campinas
Cocal
São Paulo
Itaguara
Rio Claro
Belo Horizonte
São José dos Campos
Feira de Santana
Itaquaquecetuba
Paraisopolis
Teresina
Feira de Santana
Londrina
Curitiba
Maua
Arrifana
Carapicuiba
Catanduva
Belém
Recife
Porto Alegre

Brazil
baby
on the Atlantic coast or the interior
wild and delightful
enticing
the carnival parade
the beach
a son of
Portuguese or daughter
of the full moon
dancing with
easy hips
sweetly to the samba
from the regional batuque
and Sabrino Sato
laughing echoes
in the far distance
the Amazon
the mystery in plain sight
a multiple vastness 
the aroma of
home cooking
which tantalizes 
hot music and heat
body sweat on the frontier
wildness in the street
the naked beach
energy in a footstep
the perfume of love

Jessica in Madrid, Spring 2006

Jessica in Madrid, Spring 2006
daughter is empowering herself