i'm not going anywhere

i'm not going anywhere
sitting on my stool
watching the clear water
in my backyard pool
reading a letter
she wrote it today
all she put down on paper
was she'd be going away
and i tried eating
even tried a drink or two
thought i'd be planning something
but didn't know what to do
the sun kept shining
everything seemed bright
the colors were spectacular
but i didn't feel right
i just felt lousy
then i heard children sing
i listened to their laughter
but it didn't mean anything
when i stood up
i felt my legs sinking low
thought i'd be walking somewhere
but didn't know where to go
so i held my head high
put her letter away
looked at the blue sky
and saw it turn gray
i never saw it coming
it came and it stayed
it asked me for nothing
and i already paid
sitting in my backyard
birds high in the tree
looking for happiness
and all they see is me.