a piece of crust

it'll liven you up a bit
if i could have a little tit.
a nibble before tv?
i don't want to miss out completely,
so before i retire,
what would you desire?
i'm getting a cramp,
so please turn off the lamp.
oh, watch how it dims!
i could satisfy your crazy whims:
your small face and feet,
affectionate with everyone you meet,
wrapped like an enigma or a mystery
solely for me,
hovering tightly over my smile,
makes me laugh for a little while
in your delightful apartment.
come on, was i sent?
i'm not a pizza or a Prince.
d'you want my lipstick, since
you need to fix yourself up?
here, have another cup
of Major Dickason's coffee.
what's that you're trying to tell me?
i have the ugliest legs in town?
well, your teeth are crooked and brown!
and i'd like another piece of crust
with my pie, if you must.