the ghost

i know what you're thinking.
Charlie the dog
by the back door
rubbing a shadow on the floor
with his tiny tongue
could not smell your disappointment

but it was to be all or nothing.
the fall leaves keep falling
into the pond
where they would bond
with the surface tension of water
and struggle to stay afloat

you have always been truthful.

i kicked around in the kitchen
re-facing cabinets and myself
wondering if the shelf
in the closet would hold my weight
when i gave up the ghost

you have cared for me too much.
i tried to walk
in your trail shoes
reading a section of the news
but was overwhelmed
by the lines of my indifference