Cotopaxi, Ecuador (summer 2012)

Friday, December 10, 2021

a post-it note before walking off an empty stage

sun is dumb or dumber

it keeps on shining regardless of the horse

kicking in a small barnyard;

chicken feces and cow dung scattered in the straw

with thick mud,

broken rows of corn.

footprints of the Anasazi point away from a remote cliff dwelling

pinching an inch,

but the inch searching for a destiny

or a worm hole 

and the worm 

tight inside a conical tunnel

surfing the net with a terabyte instead of an overbite.

i saw the rooster on his fence post sipping a glass of Irish whiskey

reading the Atlantic magazine,

a story about Christopher Hitchens reflecting in his eye,

a smudge of ruby lipstick on his cheek.

a gray squirrel was seen scratching hard dirt for a last bit of seed in an eastern

Pennsylvania late afternoon

in the cold air of a snowless winter.

a hungry Cooper's hawk using her GPS

wearing aviator glasses

looking for a hero for just one day;

and a dead rabbit on a well-traveled rural road.

a medium-sized herd of black Angus cattle

puzzled-looking black eyes 

wondering about their evening class in English literature.

across the wide open field

a yellow glow of a fast food restaurant and the smell of French fries cooked in hot oil.

green grass

and cars whizzing

looking for America

where the Cheshire Cat

with a jacket so casually tossed across her right shoulder

was holding nine lives and two aces up her sleeve

listening to The Bee Gees,

grinning,

while three chipmunks,

leaving a post-it note before walking off an empty stage,

waved to a singer sitting behind the theater curtain, sound asleep.

Wednesday, December 8, 2021

we all need a warm embrace

i've been thinking about a strong man

who has been feeling weak,

doing what he can to keep his three dogs occupied.

but his youngest son is struggling

with personal issues;

his aged mother is widowed and unsteady on her feet;

his wife is busy with her corporate work;

his mind is overwhelmed and

the bathroom mirror doesn't have all the answers.

like, who's the fairest of them all?

and clouds are piling up in the sky,

hiding the sun.

the air remains chilled, even as a backyard campfire

spits sparks into the night air.

what don't we know about ourselves?

is balance only found in the gym on a narrow beam?

if you're not who you are, then who?  or whom?

i heard that he cried this recent Monday night,

the first time since his sister died.

he said he feels he doesn't need any help,

but the window to his soul is open.

a breeze is coming down from the north,

and we all need a warm embrace.

Monday, December 6, 2021

far from Monmartre

so Picasso

didn't know

James Madison

but he knew quite well

Dora and her magic spell.

he often wore a dandy hat

going to a fancy Paris ball. 

Olga wrapped an ankle

because of her opera fall.

their marriage took a turn for the worse,

but there was no Spanish curse.

he simply decided he deserved what he wanted

and vows be damned,

and how the wind doth ramm!

like the unholy penis in his skillful hand,

he felt great and had the EYE:

short and spry,

full of himself while painting the female breast.

yes, who could have guessed?

he stroked and poked and painted,

grabbed Jacqueline by the neck until she fainted.

later-in-life ceramics on the shelf and red clay on the floor;

a favorite brush on a small table by his studio door,

far from Montmartre and his room with Fernande and being poor.

the young boy with a gift

on the world stage as an adult like an untethered skiff, 

adrift,

clutching his genius.

Saturday, December 4, 2021

Springtime smells like honey

 

Springtime smells like honey

driving bees crazy

wasting away their money

inside a local five and dime

making up for lost time

shopping for genuine smiles

are a mom and her kid shuffling thru the aisles

wearing imitation ten dollar shoes 

looking for something important to choose

but they're walking blind

to how they've been defined

and it doesn't seem to matter any more

the sunlight in their eyes offers a natural surprise

and they blink;

they watch the evening sun sink

and the clouds hanging low

becoming a deep shadow:

there's a garden path and a bright primrose;

wandering footprints filled with wandering toes;

and there's a high hill to climb

inside a local five and dime

making up for lost time

shopping for genuine smiles

are a mom and her kid shuffling thru the aisles

wearing imitation ten dollar shoes 

looking for something important to choose

but they're walking blind

to how they've been defined

and it doesn't seem to matter any more.

Thursday, December 2, 2021

south of Porto

she was with the invisible man on the sidewalk,

south of Porto, 

talking a lot of bull

about the rise in the cost of living

like an over-inflated zeppelin 

looking for lost lines and helium loves.

the much weathered fishermen of Aveiro

sat nonchalantly

on their salty chairs,

tongues clucking on and on

about foreign tourists asking about the latest catch.

nearby, a middle-aged woman tossed her bow rope but it missed

everything it was intended to hit,

and she lost her balance listening to the fishermen.

a loud splash was her body hitting the water between the floating dock

and the starboard side of her untethered sailboat.

as the woman was flailing in the brisk tidal current,

in danger of being injured or worse,

the fishermen kept talking about the old days, 

captains of their chairs,

pointing smoothly to the Portuguese sun, which was August hot.

they laughed softly about foreign tourists who kept asking about their catch,

but no one could find the invisible man on the sidewalk,

south of Porto.

and when the wet woman eventually climbed exhausted from the water,

she walked past the fishermen without taking notice of their smiles.

Tuesday, November 30, 2021

Walden Pond redux

the stage is where you play

there's no curtain 

the audience is intense

you believe you know which way to go

but you're not making sense

the kingdoms old and gray

poetry sighs

the Surrealists barely alive

and parties of God hold the veto

and you might not survive

with fire on your fingertips

traffic in haze

Walden Pond on a heat wave

with fall leaves shimmering over grass

there's no one left to save

spinning around the sun

fishing for life

dinosaurs and human death

clinging to a piece of day-old bread

sipping a final breath.

Monday, November 29, 2021

when the cheering fades

when the cheering fades

she turned her back and walked into the quiet night

paying her final bill

telling me everything would be alright

but i found myself alone

in parts wild and unknown

with excuses which tasted like regret

don't think i will ever forget

spilling her memories on the floor

asking the bartender for just one more

and his drink felt especially tall

setting me up for a hard-earned fall

ready to take my final curtain call

which i paid in full

when on the hill i saw the fool

on bended knee

and he looked a lot like me

when the cheering fades.

Tuesday, November 16, 2021

Le Coeur a gaz, (1923, Tristan Tzara)


it was three short acts
& the last spectacle on the program
was a complete dada farce,
with a trumpet in front of the infuriated audience
playing the Marseillaise!
this time around, there were no professional
actors to storm out singing
about the utter pointlessness
of playing body parts while wearing cubist costumes
made of stiff tubing
which reduced their walking to a geriatric shuffle.
out front, the police heard the angry voices and stormed inside
where fist fights between the dadaists and the future
surrealists began in earnest, with several badly beaten
and in no mood to be mollified.
shouts for order bounced off walls, hitting no one,
but damage to the theater was considerable.
seats were smashed and faces bloodied.
Aragon tried to rescue Eluard while
the police arrested the entire audience,
but later concluded it was all a big misunderstanding.

Monday, November 15, 2021

my shiny new Cadillac

i drove my shiny new Cadillac

down the shiny new road

and parked at the shack

way out back

watching you cleaning dishes

counting down time

making your wishes

hanging them on the line

hoping for a more perfect design

and the sun was shining and the air was warm

i was wondering how i'd ever conform

to the dreams you have for me

still running wild and crazy

climbing my wall

acting big but possibly still too small

with my face unwashed and blue jeans torn

looking for love but i've been forewarned

the shiny new road is a two way street

i remember i'll need a better song to compete

sung with honesty and no lies

promising no unwelcome surprise

and there's a lot of traffic

some much too graphic

but i'm parked at the shack

way out back

watching you cleaning dishes

counting down time

making your wishes

hanging them on the line

hoping for a more perfect design

and the sun was shining and the air was warm

i was wondering how i'd ever conform

to the dreams you have for me

still running wild and crazy

climbing my wall

acting big but possibly still too small

with my face unwashed and blue jeans torn

looking for love but i've been forewarned.

Wednesday, November 10, 2021

leaves had fallen, mostly

the early November leaves had fallen,

mostly.

many were still life shades of orange and yellow and red,

mostly

dead,

as i rode my two-wheeled bicycle down

the long narrow rural trail.

the passing air felt fresh and warm like your breath

often was

when we were close.

a love song filtered into my head

just as the deer appeared on my path,

looking like you

with her large eyes full of wild life.

her sleek frame primed for a mad dash

looked angular and fit.

she stopped to watch me approach.

my song startled her and she quickly looked around

before dashing into the thinning forest,

and you left with her,

mostly,

taking the song,

unfinished,

like my ride.

Tuesday, November 9, 2021

in the black bayou

i found you

in the black bayou

swimming in a crocodile's arms

setting off fire alarms

in the black bayou

in the black bayou

dancing with a traveling band

under the wet marshland

in the thick of night

where there's no streetlight

i found you

in the black bayou

in the black bayou

list'ning to a repeating beat

sitting in the hot backseat

i found you

in the black bayou

swimming in a crocodile's arms

setting off fire alarms

in the black bayou

in the black bayou

Monday, November 8, 2021

of what was to come

and so 

many days have walked on by

from the heat of a wild west Texas desert

to a Rocky Mountain high,

remembering 

the noise of a baby's first cry

i'm occasionally wondering why

the silver was polished to a mighty sheen,

ashtrays were always kept clean,

and the finest print

never offered a helpful hint

of what was to come 

hidden under the heavy thumb

of a valley queen and her rich real estate king:

they wanted applause but never learned how to sing

and why should she care

with her perfect hair

each strand in place

exhibiting perfect taste

and a frown only when she didn't get her own way

yes, what could he say?

so he refused to care,

with his brightly colored hair

designed to hide imperfections with an exacting flair,

for anything that was pushed up against a border wall

assuming he was big and it was small

unworthy of attention like a poor church mouse

dying in a dark corner of a derelict house

and so 

many days have walked on by

from the heat of a wild west Texas desert

to a Rocky Mountain high,

remembering 

the noise of a baby's first cry

i'm occasionally wondering why

the silver was polished to a mighty sheen,

ashtrays were always kept clean,

and the finest print

never offered a helpful hint

of what was to come

hidden under the heavy thumb

of a valley queen and her rich real estate king:

they wanted applause but never learned how to sing.

Saturday, November 6, 2021

it was the nose

it was the nose

much more than a simple rose

enlarged and bulb-like

and smelling sex

on a hot afternoon

when the teenager came home from school

curiously too soon

to pose in an erotically green chair

combing Picasso's thinning hair

with her friendly hips,

taking long satisfied sips

with an innocence beyond her years,

exhibiting minimal fears

if any

about the bouncing balls on a nearby beach

constantly in motion,

but never out of reach.

Friday, November 5, 2021

J. Pascin

i will see you again 

but not yet

my friend 

i whispered 

several years after we met 

and i was dead not he 

or they or all else who came to play 

the many artists and hangers-on drinking and eating and loving till the early dawn 

they might say it was madness in my blood, i wrote 

and merely slit my wrists & hung by throat 

threw a bloody testament on the nearby wall 

before the solo show about Cecile and my downfall 

i knew personal triumph & color 

& whores with fine lines and wit or maybe duller 

but if you slept i was alert at Montmartre always the flirt 

never the overly-serious painter as i wanted to be known

so i fade, 

become fainter & fainter 

and wonder between the many bottles of wine 

if i will ever see you again.


Thursday, November 4, 2021

Gertrude Stein in Paris

her straight dark hair cut short & tight 

leaned close toward me,
asking for a light; 
she smoked my name,
exhaled at the start, 
tapped her ashes into my heart. 
we were sitting warm at the best cafe 
on a Paris terrace 
with clear words to say; 
we heard a Piaf song from the boulevard. 
i scribbled je t'aime on a French notecard 
by the Eiffel Tower with a small glass of chilled champagne 
underneath her watchful eyes and 
a soft afternoon rain.
i saw a fine Cezanne 
yet couldn't explain 
why it was hung in a fancy wooden frame? 
while on the Rue de Fleurus 
drinking white wine 
we saw approaching Gertrude Stein,
and she would certainly have the answer.

Friday, October 29, 2021

Room 6 of the Hotel Drouot, 06/13/1921

so i punched the dealer in the head &
would have kicked him more than i did
but was abruptly pulled away, 
in a short-lived fit of loyalty,
by his hysterical brother! 
Leonce was shouting and screaming on the floor
when i kicked him some more
directly in the stomach:
he shrieked again, making me proud of my aim.
we were finally separated by Matisse, 
who said
i was right to beat the poor bastard.
and what a pig!
trying to cheapen cubism with an auction
much too painful to watch. 
"Filthy Pole!"
both Rosenbergs are bastards!!
one was ruining the market for cubism,
while brother Paul connived for a return of classicism,
which he knew he could sell for higher prices.

Thursday, October 28, 2021

growing old living a rural life

drinking iced tea

wondering about you and me

watching the movie

about a dune in the middle of the desert

seeing masked people getting hurt

flashing knives

running for their lives

from a large worm heading south

opening wide a menacing mouth

swallowing sand and spice

and we thought it was pleasantly nice

when it seemed no one actually died

so we never cried

drinking iced tea

wondering about you and me

watching the movie

about a cowboy in a confederate hat

who mounted his horse where he sat

writing a short letter

hoping hard times soon get better

when the posse takes a wrong turn

hoping they never learn

he grabbed a hoe and bought a small farm

never intending to do anybody any more harm

raising crops along with a wife

growing old living a rural life

drinking iced tea

wondering about you and me

watching the movie.

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

lost on the forest floor

so i know i'm old

living where it always feels cold

remembering being bought and sold

thinking all that glitters is not gold

when it seems everything has already been sung

from years gone by 

when i was young

dodging bullets meant to hurt

my hair grown long

in a torn t-shirt

lost on the forest floor

unable to keep the score

of who's winning the latest war:

there was a beginning which i couldn't find

heading to the front while looking behind

not realizing that i was blind

and you could see 

reaching out for me

offering hope but there was no guarantee

that i would remain restless or agree

and those hours were long and now feel short

writing about love may be my final report

so close to living on life support

sitting alone by candle light

counting the days thru another night

when it seems everything has already been sung

from years gone by 

when i was young

dodging bullets meant to hurt

my hair grown long

in a torn t-shirt

lost on the forest floor

unable to keep the score

of who's winning the latest war,

so i know i'm old

living where it always feels cold

remembering being bought and sold

thinking all that glitters is not gold.

Thursday, October 21, 2021

moments after the last call

it was about everything i saw

moments after the last call

there was a head with a halo

smiling at me with a soft glow

i thought it was all a tease

but heard myself whispering "please"

it was a lady with a torch

sitting by my side on my back porch

where she said i looked like her dad

which always made her feel glad

and we were alone

like being on top of a king's throne

and the banquet table was all prepared

for anything we might have dared

she told me she wanted something to eat

it wasn't cold but i could feel the heat

starting to rise

and then much to my surprise

she started to laugh

said it was time for her evening bath

it was well-past midnight

and i loved the sight

of nobody around

totally silent except for the sound

of her eating a stolen grape

as we quietly made our escape

all happening before the break of dawn

with all the heavy curtains drawn

in my room

where all the special flowers bloom:

it was about everything i saw

moments after the last call

there was a head with a halo

smiling at me with a soft glow

i thought it was all a tease

but heard myself whispering "please"

it was a lady with a torch

sitting by my side on my back porch.

Friday, October 15, 2021

reading between your lines

Zelda

what you got

it's what i want

reading between your lines

polishing a penny until it shines

on an empty dance floor

hearing the noise of a skeleton key

scampering into a widows' door

your smile leading me astray

every time you had your own way

i was dying embarrassed 

by the things that you said

while painting my body red

when it should have been blue

instead

what will you do

as the madness grows inside your head?

Zelda

what you got

it's what i want

reading between your lines

polishing a penny until it shines

Wednesday, October 13, 2021

never fake it

so was Al Jolson greater than Jesus

or just another pretender?

perhaps a crazy dead-ender

like a comic book character

with hair down to his knees?

oh, please

don't be insane:

if you find a way to win,

take it

never fake it

with a diamond pinned to one side of your nose

running 

when the wild wind blows.

there might be a call saying "It's for you!"

but how can it be

if you're not being true?

does Authority always win

or is that only in a Mellencamp song

where everything seems right 

but it's always wrong?

oh, no!

even Hemingway looked back in

'A Moveable Feast'

but eventually lost his way to a savage beast

hanging around,

listening for a well-timed shotgun sound

and then...

there it was!

so was Al Jolson greater than Jesus

or just another pretender?

perhaps a crazy dead-ender

like a comic book character

with hair down to his knees?

oh, please

don't be insane:

if you find a way to win,

take it

never fake it

with that gun in your hand

eyeing people across the land.

who can't see who you are:

they have no car

they have no shoes

they sing the southern blues

in the land of the free

the home of the brave

imagining life as a former slave

heroes and bums and lovers at night

eyeing almost everything in sight

and what do they see?

so was Al Jolson greater than Jesus

or just another pretender?

Sunday, October 10, 2021

someone somewhere

someone

somewhere

stopped in at 27 rue de Fleurus

late in the afternoon

after a short walk

before a long talk

and a quiet laugh about Germans

or the gay part of the world,

just never the bad

or whatever seemed sad.

he was tired after a morning writing

and needed the fresh Paris air,

then went inside listening to her French

but never reading in that language

which seemed much too hard,

while sitting on an easy chair in her salon.

they both liked to read,

especially stuff by Scott Fitzgerald

and of course their own work,

and talked often about other people,

but never more than once 

did she speak about Joyce.

and if he did,

he wouldn't be invited back.

nothing was simple there.

Thursday, September 30, 2021

everything seems to fade away

shuffling the cards

cutting the deck

looking for fives aces

and my disability check

pouring a drink

grabbing a smoke

wondering why 

i'm always close to broke

near the end of the day

how many times do i have to pray?

watching everything as it seems to fade away

i've got no new games to play:

there's the old dance floor

where i once used to explore

with a woman in my arms

and all her youthful charms:

a forehead kiss

something not to miss

when the lights turn low

near the end of the all-night show

i've no place else to go

no spare life left to borrow.

dreaming alone

blowing some smoke

listening to old friends

tell another old joke

walking a mile

paying my fines

dreaming of days

without any deadlines.

shuffling the cards

cutting the deck

looking for fives aces

and my disability check

pouring a drink

grabbing a smoke

wondering why 

i'm always close to broke

near the end of the day

how many times do i have to pray?

watching everything as it seems to fade away

i've got no new games to play:

walking a mile

paying my fines

dreaming of days

without any deadlines.

Wednesday, September 29, 2021

the hole in my heart

finding graves

counting all the people who were slaves

never knowing when the end will come

hitching a ride with my corporate thumb

wondering where the road will lead

trying not to bleed

out the hole in my heart

there's never an easy way to restart

and no way to avoid the fall

no one to reach me when i call

an engine noise metallic with spinning gears

the grinding sound as it nears

around the bend and on the long straightaway

gathering speed with nothing new to say

blowing past in a swirl of dust

challenging me to move aside if i must

finding graves

counting all the people who were slaves

never knowing when the end will come

hitching a ride with my corporate thumb

wondering where the road will lead

trying not to bleed

out the hole in my heart.

Jessica in Madrid, Spring 2006

Jessica in Madrid, Spring 2006
daughter is empowering herself