the blue house

so when i came home
my house was blue
i looked everywhere
i missed not seeing you.
the last time i saw you
you where waving goodbye
and i couldn't help but
start wondering why.
so i took the long drive
it was already getting late
what i didn't know
that was our final date.
yet you were amazing
as we read and we spoke
then you were gone
and i awoke.
but in my dream
soft and strong
i saw you walking
i wanted to tag along.
you told me
you were in no rush
and when i held you
i noticed you blush;
everyone would notice
if we walked or ran.
you would be my lady
and i would be your man.
and then the sun rose
my alarm bells started to ring
and i looked everywhere
but couldn't see a thing.

to love forever

no more digging in the dirt
no more walking around with the hurt
i got tired staying down on my knees
how many times was i supposed to say "Please?"

i had a dad who was an old street fighter
he'd hit me and kick me every other day
i saw his fist begin to roll even tighter
i'd run and try to get away
he'd grab me and say i was really gonna pay.

i joined the Army to see what all the fighting was about
shot my way into the center of town
saw people pointing but couldn't hear them shout
they kept looking up while i kept looking down
i knew i wanted something that couldn't be easily found.

no more digging in the dirt
no more walking around with the hurt
i got tired staying down on my knees
how many times was i supposed to say "Please?"

i had a woman tell me i was a special man
she kissed me and she loved me every other day
it took awhile before i could fully understand
if i lost her i would have nothing more to say
i'm not religious but i'm staying on my knees to pray.

wounds which may never heal

passion in abundance
but lacking in common sense.
it'll be me.
the blood spilled by my feet was my type
my pain vivid, intense,
unnecessary, perhaps
unwanted, i knew
undeserved, i felt,
and at such a time
that the shock was stunning, awesome,
simple and complete.
how can one love without undefended vulnerability?
someone must have once made the comment
that perhaps the pain of loss
exceeds the rapture of togetherness.
maybe i said it.
from the parking lot,
i once remarked
"See you around!"
she replied,
"We must communicate!"
how easy it should have been in retrospect to keep
emotions in check,
entanglements at arms length,
maintaining that critical distance,
the detachment,
a cool reserve,
a preserving space,
while still having her
in an impersonal fashion.
oh, nostalgia!
i so wanted to trust someone,
to have help with every door,
to allow,
to risk everything for.
look, i heard
you and i wanted
a meaningful connection,
an honest embrace,
a fundamental relationship
without pretense or phoniness
no holding in reserve
and i gave you my word:
no secret part of myself
would be hidden
and i willingly gave to you
and flew
at every altitude
free-falling
walking on air
and always there
feeling that special breeze
which can only appear with abandonment
a ghost and a solid thing once and for all
steady
continual
and most certainly
vital and alive.
we saw things most clearly.
now am i the fool?
i am on the verge of closing myself down and
tending to wounds which may
never heal.
where now is the knock-out rose?
only the arborist knows.
the hand-formed candle resting on my glass coffee table
is in danger of losing its' dancing flame.
the fireplace has grown cold.
oh, perhaps the gas cylinder is empty again?
the nearby wall of glass no longer holds a view
of the near shore.
what is all this for?
the shore itself has disappeared.
that's what i feared.
the creek no longer flows.
someone else one said
"And so it goes."
even the simple flowers have lost their bloom.
you've already left the room.
any color appears drained from my face.
you've left without a trace.
or is this an illusion?

brown eyes blue

on my fall from the highest star
i passed a friend who had her brown eyes focused
on the far side of the street
it was a Tuesday when we had first arranged to meet
and we sat down together
didn't give a damn about the weather
we climbed a hill and rolled underneath the full harvest moon
she took my hand and promised i'd get it back sometime before June
but it never came and she went
when daybreak finally arrived i was spent
there wasn't a single penny on the floor
i saw her just before she shut the door
Fleetwood Mac was playing on the radio
i didn't really know why she felt she had to go
alarmed by another landslide
i wanted to get away but my hands felt tied
if you see my friend she might have her brown eyes blue
her painted nails stick out from the front of her shoe
she'll be carrying a smile which lights the new dawn
and when the time comes i'll hope to carry on.

it was a Tuesday

there was a partially eaten hamburger
a warm Guinness
a bright Chardonnay.
it was a Tuesday.
the sun was shining
outside the window.
the lunch crowd was in
drinking fresh tonic and gin
water with ice and sliced lemon
and i could touch your hand.
sitting knee to knee
you leaned over and spoke to me.
tears on the plate.
the waitress asked how was everything?
balsamic vinegar on the floor.
walking to the side door
we were still tasting the atmosphere;
i watched you,
that's something i need to do,
all the way to the parking area
where we saw our cars.
you went one way.
it was a Tuesday.
and i followed until i ran out of gas.
there you were with extra fuel
in a hand-held can.
"so let's get this show on the road again."

no one behind the wheel

driving alone
no one behind the wheel
starting from a beach front hotel
a strange woman i didn't know well
her red stop signs and red street lights
tall towers and tender sights
her doggie style wild cat fights
but no accidents
no one behind the wheel
a letter said she was too tired
without laughing i said she was hired
her red stop signs and red street lights
tall towers and tender sights
her doggie style wild cat fights
driving alone
no one behind the wheel
a woman with her dark back seat
asking if i'd like something to eat
driving alone
no one behind the wheel
her hand on my keys all night through
couldn't get lost so what should i do
driving alone
no one behind the wheel.

an eagle with a woman's breasts

one more drink:
will it be bourbon or wine?
well, the grey-haired woman
thought everything was fine,
but then her tires went flat.
can you imagine that?
her corns began to burn,
her demeanor caught cold!
is she a bust on a funeral pyre
or simply grown too old?
the following Sunday
more lessons came my way;
i sat calmly reading the papers
to pass another day.
a long bull's penis
was in the morning news.
it was tipped with a ribbon
of more reds than blues.
three years went by
while i stayed firmly on that chair;
she said she looked around
but couldn't find me anywhere.
hell, then the window opened;
an eagle with a woman's breasts
offered me a challenge
and i passed her tests.
when i rose from my seat
to stretch my bones,
she grabbed my arm
and we erupted in moans.
we didn't have far to go;
we wanted to feed the birds,
and our bag of seeds
did more for them than words.

johnnie's blow

hey Joe,
i've got a pocket full of johnnie's blow
he tried to fill me with his candied red
i found him shot and bloodied on his bed
once a shit from 43rd
everyone knew he was a little turd
and that's the latest from what i heard

hey Jane,
i've got a plantation full of sugar cane
it'll rot your teeth and blow your brain
your head will split and nothing will remain
once and done and overall
they're looking for johnnie to take the fall
and that's the latest i can recall

hey Jack,
i've got a warehouse full of whitie's crack
it's pure and simple and smells like gold
one pinch and you're hooked and then you're sold
try a sample in the park
almost nothing you can't do after dark
and when you do it'll leave it's mark

hey Joe,
i've got a pocket full of johnnie's blow
he tried to fill me with his candied red
i found him shot and bloodied on his bed
once a shit from 43rd
everyone knew he was a little turd
and that's the latest from what i heard

it just felt right

her fresh hair
would i dare?
play the strings of her heart
listening to the tune
i watched a quiet moon
floating in the night sky
not for me to sit wondering why
it just felt right
she picked up my smile and took a bite
but i headed home
it wasn't very far
there was my old piano and a new guitar
on the kitchen table a piece of flat bread toast
i thought of beginning life out on the west coast
she wouldn't travel in a car
and sometimes that's just how things are
i had her in my head
it must have been something that she once said
i thought of myself going to bed
and she would be between my sheets
lithe and trim
it was a game i couldn't win
i remembered back to when we met
she was young and i wild
a military man and a flower child
we got a good seat at the local bar
and sometimes that's just how things are
i watched a quiet moon
floating in the night sky
not for me to sit wondering why
it just felt right
she picked up my smile and took a bite.

all i want to do is say hello

i've found a climbing stair
it's leading me straight to nowhere
but i keep on walking
convinced that i'll find you there
and it might be dark
you might be playing games in the park
swinging on a set with your legs kicking the air
shaking your head no
when all i want to do i say hello
take you to the nearest motion picture show
down the road past the local rodeo
where a lucky cowboy gets to take a dangerous ride
won't you walk with me close by my side?
i've found a climbing stair
it's leading me straight to nowhere
but i keep on walking
convinced that i'll find you there
and it might be wrong
this might not be your favorite song
but it's all i have and i've sung it everywhere
shaking your head no
when all i want to do is say hello
take you to the nearest motion picture show
down the road past the local rodeo
where a lucky cowboy gets to take a dangerous ride
won't you walk with me close by my side?
i've found a climbing stair
it's leading me straight to nowhere
but i keep on walking
i keep on walking
walking and talking
and it might be dark
you might be playing games in the park
swinging on a set with your legs kicking the air
shaking your head no
when all i want to do is say hello